Leaving a Legacy

Children.
Today at work I noticed something (surprising since I've been up since 4:30am) children model what they see from the people the look up too (mom,dad, siblings etc). I know some of you are saying, "Casey, you didn't notice this before??" And yes I have noticed it (I've been working with kids for 6 years). But it really struck me this morning. One five year old girl was walking around all in a huff talking under her breath complaining about the situation, almost to the point of disrespect. I thought to myself, "Where did she learn that?"..."Her mom, more than likely".

We as people have the power to influence in HUGE ways, especially as parents (not speaking from experience).I began to think of the ways I have impacted those around me.

I am leaving this small little river town in 2 months. How will people remember me? What impact will I have on their lives? Will they say I helped or hurt? Encouraged or discouraged? Loved or hated? Shown them Jesus or shown them hypocrisy?

I know I have made an impact though.
"[Casey] This is my lovely babe. She is my core group leader. She helps me through everything. She got me to love myself like I should :) If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be going to youth group, she makes it awesome, I can tell her anything and she will listen and give me advice. She helps me through anything I am struggling with. I love her with all my heart, and I always will, even if she does get into college in Minnesota T_T. I love you. "---Hannah--hero sect of myspace

The way my preschoolers on Sunday smile and hug me and tell their parents how much they love me, some even pray for me every night!


The way the kids/teens at work talk to me about their lives and seek advice and now want to impact others in the community

The way my core group has grown into young women and how they can now
comfort each other and me.

The way my best friend prayer mightily and speaks the truth in love.

My sisters, growing up and growing in their love for Jesus and learning to trust Him

My upcoming mission trip.

But I take no credit, for it is all God's doing. Him working through me, I am nothing made into something only for His glory...and it has been so awesome. So I can look back and be ok with moving on. There is still time for more impact before I go and thats exciting. And there's time for you too :)

I am leaving behind a legacy. And I wouldn't have it any other way. This is my comfort and my strength for saying goodbye.

~standing on His Promise~
CaseyMay

*thank you for the encouragement on my last post, I took it to heart and it was a lovely reminder of God's promise to reward obedience and that I will suffer as He did for His Glory*

The Minority

I feel like I am in the minority here. Why is it that I am not invited/included in things just because I love Jesus. And why on earth am I labeled "religious"!!! I HATE that word, it instantly puts up a wall between me and others. No invites, no personal relationships, no good friendships, all because I am in LOVE with Jesus??? What the crap?!

Why is right wrong and wrong right? Why is true love traded in for attention? Why is this place so screwed up? Why can't they see what we see?

Why can I not tell them or show them who Jesus is? Why don't they ask more questions? What are they afraid of?

This suffering is small, so small. But I'm starting to feel it, the rejection, alienation, despair, urgency, and burdened heart.

Lord Jesus,

Bridge this gap with Your grace. Fill me to the point of overflowing

Use me Jesus to reach this messed up world

Give me the strength to be in not of the world

Shine brightly through me Jesus

so that there is no doubt that I am Yours and that I am set apart for You

Be my strength Jesus

Continue to guide me in Your footsteps

and forgive them for they know not what they do Jesus.

My God, rise up a generation on fire for You

that they may have the cries of Your heart.

My heart screams for Your people

it cries out in pain Jesus for those lost

for the hurting, dying, lost people

MY GOD BE THEIR REFUGE

BE THEIR STRENGTH

BE THEIR SAVIOR

RESCUE THEM JESUS

SAVE THEM FROM THE ENEMY GOD

RISE UP YOUR ARMY LORD

SEND US INTO BATTLE TO FIGHT

FOR THE LOST SOULS OF THIS WORLD

JESUS SHINE SO BRIGHTLY THROUGH US

THAT THE DARKNESS WOULD FLEE

AND ALL WOULD KNOW YOU

My soul is crying out to you tonight, it mourns for Your people.

Its in Your power Jesus that I pray these things.

amen

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

Its Happening Much To My Surprise

Ok its not official until next week and I'm missing the details but I can say with confidence that I am going to the Honor Academy Minnesota in August, and it is for sure that I'm going to Mexico in less than 2 months for a mission trip. I know these things are happening

yet they feel so unreal

I can't even imagine these experiences yet I will be a part of them in just a matter of months! I am so out of my element mentally, I have no clue what to expect, no idea as to how to handle things, I am completely in the dark.

It's the greatest feeling in the world

Those of you who have been getting to know me, know that I am a control freak (not as bad, but still a type A personality) I am the one that wants to know everything before hand and be prepared for everything. I want to know who, what, when, where, why and how all before it even happens.

Yet I have found JOY in the unknown, in God's mysteriousness in the unknown promises, in His surprises. I know where God is asking me to go, yet I am still so amazed and so joyfully clueless, and I am so glad that He is in control. I am so excited to see whats going to happen. Two-three months can go by so fast and yet so slow, but its ok. I'm on His schedule not mine and thats my favorite place to be.

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

Faith Is Hope In The Things Unseen

I have faith in things I can not see, I have faith in the Promises of God that have yet to come to fruition. I am about to embark on an amazing journey, one that is going to change my life forever. I have faith that I am going to the Honor Academy and that I will experience God in ways I can not fathom.

The paradox of time is ever present.

The days can't come fast enough and the months are flying by.

I am where God wants me, totally clueless, dependent on Him and His strength.

I honestly, never thought this day would come, that God would rock my face off. I was so afraid of this very thing, the thing that has brought me so much JOY.

There will be days when I will feel

alone.

"Never will I leave you nor forsake you"

There will be times when I want to

give up

"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"

There will be times when I will be filled with

JOY

"The Joy of the Lord is your strength"

I will hold tight to hand of God.

Where He leads I will follow.

He is the shepherd

I am a sheep.

BAAAAAAAAAAAA

Here we go.

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

Blessed

Today, I feel extremely blessed. Why?? Because I got to GIVE! I got to give my talents, time and treasures to my best friend and her family. I got her a plaque (clear crystal) that has a poem about best friends on it, her love language is gifts so I knew it would mean a lot to her (mine is words of affirmation so it worked for me too). I got the chance to just be with her sitting/laying/walking, just being. No words necessary, we knew what each other needed and embraced the opportunities to laugh at ourselves. Like the idea of cutting ourselves in half so each of us could have part of the other to take with us.

What blessed me the most though, was being able to pray over her and anoint her. I felt the spirit of God in the room. I loved giving her up to God.

~standing on His Promise~

Casey

Carry Me Away

It's been a day of good things but filled with an emotional rollercoaster, why, I'm not sure, maybe it has to do with hormones, but somehow I think its a little bigger than that. Tonight I feel so heavy with emotion. I am torn, having to balance how I spend my time, which is running out. How do you equally divide your time between the people you truly love and care about? I feel like I end up hurting someone, whether thats true or not, I don't know. Is this anyones fault? No, no its not, its just the way it has to be, its growing up, its reality.

Now I have to face the harsh reality that this time its not them leaving me, but that I am leaving them. I am the one abandoning them, leaving them to pick up the pieces, answer the hard questions and go it alone.

I'm so tired and I know that right now all I can do is be carried by my Father because I am not strong enough to do this. I'm not strong enought to say goodbye. I'm not strong enough to walk away. I'm just not strong enough...

thankfully I don't have to be.

"And even though I'm walking through the valley of the shadow, I will hold tight to the hand of Him whose love will comfort me and when all hope is gone and I've been wounded in the battle. He is all the strength that I will ever need. He will carry me."

Carry me away Lord Jesus,

Be my strength

Be my guide

Be my Savior

Be You

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

Thoughts After Resting In The Arms Of Jesus

Ok, I apologize for the abruptness of my last post. I was emotionally overloaded after making a graduation card for Samantha, it was just so real, you know? Like this is the end and I was filled with so many different emotions but the one that weighed heaviest on my heart was deep sorrow and it hurt guys. But thank God that Jesus's lap is always avalaible for me to climb up into his arms and let all my emotions out and that His comfort is greater than any medicine.

It's all going to be ok. God has great plans for both of us, and this is not the end but the beginning and we are family, sisters. We are wrapped in Jesus' arms and they will never let us go. We both have phones and we both have God who is always listening.

~standing on His Promise~
CaseyMay

Today It Is All Too Much

The emotions are too much for me to handle, I'm going to go cry on the shoulder of mu Jesus and then maybe I will feel better. Maybe I just need to cry until I can't cry anymore and then I'll be ok.

~standing on His Promise~
CaseyMay

I Wonder

I often wonder where God will take me and what it will be like to look back on this time of my life, will I look back in amazement, regret, happyness or what? And I think of all the possibilities in front of me and am just in amazement.

I know where I have been and where I am, but I wonder where I'm going and where I'll end up and what God has for me. I wonder what this all means, why He lifted me up to a higher place than I deserve. But I wonder still, when I look at the star filled sky, when the sun's warmth envelopes me, when the wind blows like a small whisper and when the spring rain strums on my roof...I am wondering in pure awe of God for He guides me and where He leads I will follow, still wondering.

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

The Best Is Yet To Come

Here I am, almost 20 years old and I feel like this is just the beginning of my life. God is doing such great things in my life and also in the life of my best friend. As we walked yesterday we were able to talk about how life was treating us and what we we learning. We were able to laugh at things while we walked:

And we were also able to talk about what has really been kicking our butts. It so refreshing to have a best friend that understands where you are and who you are. There have been so many times that we just looked at each other and knew what was going on and it wasn't all serious either.

We are both getting ready to start new things, she's going away to college and I'm (hopefully) going to Minnesota. We are discovering God's calling on our lives and yet there will be a day, a bitter-sweet day, when we will have to say goodbye. How I hate goodbyes. No more spontaneous walks and talks, no 'I'm only a minute away' reassurances. But hours and hundreds of miles between us. I will cry tears of sadness but I will also cry tears of joy, because my best friend is discovering who she is in Christ and He has placed her in a church where she can give herself to others and go out to share the Good News. I will rejoice in this departure for we are going with God and we leave with the reassurance that we will never be replaced and the hope for the visits home. So it won't really be goodbye, but merely 'I will see you later.'

We still have time together and I will cherish everyday of the next 3 months but we know all too well that time goes by way to fast.

The best is yet to come...

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

My Name Is Casey And I Have A Problem....

Ok so this is me being really real with y'all.

My name is Casey and I have a problem...with emotional eating.

I'm sure right now some of you are nodding your heads and saying yep thats me too. And yes I think its common however mine is slightly different (or atleast it seems different to me). I have noticed that in the past 2 weeks I have eaten out more than I have in the last 2-3 months. And it doesn't stop there, I am snacking, munching and crunching throughout the day. Here is what promted my blog.

I got into an arguement with my sister, for the second time today. So what do I do? I go to the freezer and pull out the Peanut Butter Chocolate icecream. Nevermind the fact that I ate out today and had icecream, or that I haven't been exercising regularly and am now on track to gain back the weight I've lost. So I was sitting there eating my icecream, when I began to think about why I was eating it and then thought about posting a blog about all this. I realized that I was eating to comfort myself and at the same time "punish" myself for acting in such a disgraceful manner. So its self-defeating really. So I put my icecream back in the freezer, said a little prayer and came here.

I need to go to God with this and spend some time resting and maybe even crying, in His arms. I can't do this to myself anymore, I'm tired of feeling this way, I want to run to my Savior not to my freezer.

Thanks for listening. I appreciate you all so very much.

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

A Blessing In The Midst Of A Defeated Spirit

Today has been an off day. I woke up this morning in a somewhat cross mood mainly because I got my monthy surprise. But as I got ready for my day I just found it really hard to rise above my defeated mood, I wasn't throwing myself a pity party but I was certainly being an Eeyore, I felt like I had a rain cloud above my head that I couldn't shake. So I went on a walk after getting some encouragement from my best freind. That seemed to help, it was absolutely gorgeous outside (80's!). After walking I went about my day, did some running around some shopping, which helped a little but again I found myself fighting that rain cloud when I was not busy. After I got home from work I felt very unmotivated and just gave into it. Wouldn't you know that God had a big blessing in store for me tonight!
I received a call from the Honor Academy!!!!! Talk about a lifted spirit! I was imediatley filled with joy, anticipation and anxiety. We had an interview over the phone and for being put on the spot I did good though I give that credit to God because I prayed for the words! My last two references should be in by tomorrow and it sounded very promising. One question they asked was about my desire to attend the Honor Academy, on a scale from one to ten. One being no way you're crazy and ten being its all I can think about. I said ten and if they has 11 as a choice I would have picked it! I'm that stoked. They will call me again within 5-10 business days and let me know my status. This has really witnessed to my parents, especially my dad, who was very skeptical about this being the rigt thing for me. I am so excited to wait 2 weeks, and I know that sounds crazy but atleast I KNOW when to expect it!

I'm amazed you guys that God would choose tonight after I had a total bad attitude and defeated spirit! Maybe some of it was an attack of the Enemy but I had my part too. God is so good you guys, He totally blessed me and I in no way, shape or form deserved it! Just had to tell you!

Thank you for all your prayers and love and words! *HUGS*

~Standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

WHO AM I?

WHO AM I?
That the Lord of all the Earth
Would Care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
WHO AM I?
That the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wondering heart

God chose me?! Why, I am so unworthy, not only would He choose to save me but to call me friend too? I am so unfaithful, so wavering, yet He is patient and faithful and good.

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because what I've done

But because of who You are

It's nothing I can do, nothing I can take credit for, it's all because of You, and what You have done. I am because You were, are and will be.

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

A vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

I am so small, so useless, yet You still hear me, You still run to me, You still LOVE me, despite the many times I have messed up and dragged you through the mud. You are still faithful.

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours

I am Yours

I am Yours, I am defined by You and You alone, no one else defines me. I am Your daughter, a Princess of the King, I can call on Your name for help and strength and You give it freely. I am Yours, forever.

WHO AM I?
That the eyes that see my sin
would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
WHO AM I?
that the voice the calmed the sea
would call out through the rain
and calm the storm in me

You see my sin and still You love me?! You pick me up when I am beaten down by the trails and pains and burdens of this world. You, the same Jesus that calmed the sea, the same Jesus that rose from the dead after three day, YOU call me and in YOU I find rest and calm in the storm.

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because what I've done
But because of who You are
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
I am Yours

You have taken a young broken girl and made her whole. You have placed a calling on her life that she is not worthy of, You have restored her to who You created her to be. You have shown through her complete brokenness. You have done a good work in her. You have made her feet beautiful for she carries Your gospel, even though the world would look upon those same feet with disgust. You have made her hands useful and gentle for they care for You children, the same hands the world stares at harshly. You have made her beautiful and lifted her up and used her to bring glory to Your name. She is so grateful and so humbled by Your mercy and Your grace and Your provision and most of all YOUR LOVE
Thank You Jesus, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You...
~standing on His Promise~
CaseyMay

Peace After the Freakout

Something that you will soon know about me is that I tend to freakout and worry about things I can not control. I would like to share with you one of those times, for your enjoyment and my sanity. :)

I am in the application process to the Honor Academy in Minnesota. This is an intense Christian school/training program, God recently asked me to search my heart in my education and when I did I found that at this point in my life, I do not want to pursue my teaching degree (I'm a freshman), but rather I want to do as much as I can to prepare myself for God's calling on my:missions. So in faith I applied to this school and now I am just waiting to hear back from them, I applied for the term starting in August and the school costs $6000, with no financial aid and while there I will not be allowed to work, oh and I have I mentioned that I have never moved away from home? I just desire for God's will to be done. Anyway back to my story (sorry I'm a little ADD)

Since deciding to apply, I have been in freakout mode, this was all I thought about and then I began to wonder if thats really where God wanted me or if I was being foolish or what happens if I don't get it, how will i get the money (i, rather God, just finished raising $1400 for a mission trip that will take place at the end of July), etc. This has gone on for 2 weeks! (ask SamanthaMarie, she will tell you what its like having to deal with me when I do this, thank God she is so patient and forgiving!)

As I was having my time with Jesus, I was reading Matthew 14:25-31

"And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" And the cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." Peter said to Him, "Lord if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and begining to sink, he cried out, "Lord save me!" Immediately Jesus streched out His hand and took hold of Him and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

Maybe I should change my name to Peter. This totally spoke to me because I do that so often. Take my mission trip for example.

I ask God to show me His will for my life, He does--missions/missionary wife. Ok, so God if thats what You want me to do You need to affirm that to me in a big way so I know I'm not crazy. He uses our youth pastor to tell me that God wants me to go with them in July to Mexico on a mission trip and oh by the way it cost $1400 and your $500 behind, but thats not a problem. Oh totally no big deal God! WHAT?!?! Ok, God if you really want me to go on this trip, You are going to have to get me the money and in a big way so I know for sure that You want me to do this. As I wait for God to provide, I freak out about asking people for money, I write a nice letter telling friends and family whats going on in my life. 7WEEKS later, I had recieved all $1400, I was the first one to have their trip paid for. Do you think God wants me to go into missions?!

So now, I am trusting God that I am doing what He asks, walking on the water at His command, not looking at the wind or the waves, but looking to Him. And it is then, in the midst of the storm, that I find peace in His arms.

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

Wishes & Dreams

I’m watching you from a scenic

view taking in your every move

Who you tried so hard to be full of

Wishes and dreams

That did not come true for you

I can read you like a book

Sad stories everywhere I look

Faded pictures remind you when

What could have been

Did not come true for you

[chorus]

I’ll be the one who makes you laugh

Make up for the memories

That made you sad

Me and you together forever

We could be someday

You will find me in all your

Wishes and dreams

Is it so hard to believe what

Your eyes cannot see

Your dream come true

A love to fall into

I’m waiting to show you

-Stellar Kart "Wishes and Dreams"

This is my love song from Jesus. For so long I had my own dreams and wishes and they didn't include God and His dreams and wishes for my life. I tried for a long time to be someone I wasn't and desiring someone else to come into my life (usually a boy) and make me happy. Wishing for happily ever after while kissing toads.

God desires to be the center of our dreams. And when I look back at my wishing and dreaming, I see that what I really needed was Jesus.

I am now putting Christ in the center of my dreams and they are coming true in His timing and so perfectly, better than I could have ever imagined!

I know God's calling on my life is to be a missionary (and marry one :D ) and now He is sending me on a mission trip to Mexico and probably sending me to the Honor Academy in Minnesota in the fall. My dreams have become His dreams, I have His heart cries and He has my heart.

Some of you may be wondering why my blog is entitled "His beautiful promises". Well four/five years ago God promised to send me on a mission trip, when it didn't happen that summer, I gave up on it, but God did not. And in the last 5 months God has delivered on so many promises! Promises of a best freind, promises of blessing, promises of answered prayer and promises of provision.

I am standing on His promises everyday, trusting that He will deliver in His perfect timing. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us and to always provide for ouro need and to give us strength and rest, eternal life and so much more.

What promise are you standing on?

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

looking back & walking forward

Today in church and I listened to my pastor talk of how things have come together, not by his works, but by stumbling under God's annointing. I began to look back at my life, (all 19 years of is, 5 of those following Christ), I began to see how God worked in me and how He has led me, even when I didn't know it. I have indeed sumbled under God's annointing.

When I get to see Jesus face-to-face, I hope to ask Him why He chose me, why He gave me this HUGE calling of being a missionary and often wonder what His answer will be. I know it won't be that I deserved it because I am so unworthy, lower than a snakes' belly.

I can look back and see how God has trained me for where I am at this point in my life. I am preparing to walk fully in God's will. That can be such a scary thing yet so exciting.

This is going to fun.

~standing on His Promise~

Casey

Hello World

So...my name is Casey. I love Jesus and am committed to His calling on my life which is to be missionary's wife, thus be a missionary. I am passionate about impacting this generation for God. My bestest friend is SamanthaMarie, who also has blog called Running After His Heart and its AMAZING, no I am not just saying that because she's my bestie, I REALLY mean it.

I have a very functional disfunctioning family, I am a triplet (all girls-no we're not identical) all three of us have some sort of disability and that has played a big role in who we are today (if you want specifics you'll have to ask).

This blog will focus on my journey with Jesus as I await the beautiful things He has promised me. I am so excited to see what happens and thank you for accompanying me on this beautiful journey!

~in His Promise~
CaseyMay