Thursday, December 31, 2009

Home and 2009

Being home was rough at first, its always hard to be back as an adult yet still a child. But I have enjoyed my extended visit.

Normally I would be home a little less then 2 weeks, but because I needed to get my wisdom teeth taken out (had that done on Monday) I am here until January 9th. I have enjoyed not being rushed, enjoying people, especially my family. And also being home with my best friend is a plus :)

Today is the last day of 2009. I can't believe it. It has been a crazy year...
  • I was broken before the Lord so many times, and He showed Himself faithful
  • I saw many lasting friendships
  • I learned how to love deeply and simply (1 Cor 13:4-8)
  • I discovered who I was and what my calling is
  • I had the privilege of promoting and being the assistant director of the Atlanta Acquire the Fire that happened in April
  • I endured trials that brought many many tears, and many lessons
  • I was truly transformed by God
  • I was a nanny for 2 weeks during a mission trip in Dallas, TX
  • I graduated Teen Mania's Honor Academy
  • I saw God work through me and without me in the lives of my family and closest friends
  • I went to counseling :)
  • I laughed, cried, lived and loved
  • I went on many adventures
  • I moved on
  • I g0t to be the Director of 2 Acquire the Fire events and supervise 6 interns
  • I have seen the Lord work in the hearts of those I love most

2010. My hope for 2010 is that I will know the Lord more, love people better, and continue to grow. When I think of 2010 I think of myself as a flower in the middle of a field that is covered with fresh rain-it is the beginning of spring. A time to step out in who I am, to be bold, to be free to be me.

We shall see....

~Standing on His Promises~


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Learning :)

I have been learning a lot of lessons recently. Some big and some small but lessons all the same.

1. You can't please everyone
2. God as your where you are for a reason
3. Love is hard but worth it

I feel like this season of my life is giving way to another. I don't know why but for the past few years the fall season (August-December) is by far the hardest for me, spiritually especially. I am not sure why that is. But through this desert season I am learning so much, about fighting for my relationship with the Lord and about refinement. I am excited for spring, for the internal lessons I have learned to become evident.

I am getting closer to making a decision about college. Though leaving the Honor Academy will be sad and different it will also be very good.

Psalm 23
The LORD, the Psalmist's Shepherd.
A Psalm of David.
1The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
2He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
3He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.
4Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
6Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Today's Promise--The Lord is my refuge

Psalm 91: 2-3, 9-11, 14-16

2I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!"
3For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper
And from the deadly pestilence.

9For you have made the LORD, my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place.
10No evil will befall you,
Nor will any plague come near your tent.
11For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
To guard you in all your ways.

14"Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
15"He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16"With a long life I will satisfy him
And let him see My salvation."

When I read this today, I remembered the hope I have in the Lord and His protection over me. No matter what I encounter today, temptation, trail, frustration, failure, heart break, etc the Lord is my refuge, I trust Him and He is faithful to deliver me.

Life here at home can be difficult at times, I am realizing that in about 8 months I will be back in the 'real' world, away from my safe environment of the Honor Academy. I have already seen my weaknesses magnified, and am quickly seeing the changes I need to make to be ready. And while there are still many unknowns about what I will do after my graduation of my GI year, I know that the Lord will guide my path. It is in Him that I seek refuge. This promise, I will stand on.
~standing on His Promises~


Thursday, December 17, 2009

The happenings of the last few months

Well friends, here is the update on my life in my long absence.

In August I graduated the Honor Academy and became a graduate intern (GI). My role would be a manager over the Acquire the Fire events in Atlanta and later Nashville. Many changes ensued at the end of August/beginning of September not only in my work/management but also in my personal life. In the end of September and beginning of October I worked A LOT of overtime and was very stressed out. In my own personal life I was feeling very alone.

I didn't know how to start over, again. New people, new opportunities and seemingly no one that really knew me. I began to realize how dependent I was on people and other things, I started meeting with a Christian counselor-which helped heal my heart so much, I realized my signs of dependency and would stop myself before I was dependant. But I still didn't know how to start healthy relationships, so I just didn't. I was also scared of loving deeply again, because real love hurts. I was distant in my relationship with the Lord too. When I sought Him for answers I heard no answer so I just decided to do it myself.

I have been unsuccessfully doing everything on my own strength until yesterday. I knew that coming back home for Christmas (for almost a month) would break me. And my first day home, it did. I knew that I couldn't do anything anymore, I needed God so badly. I know that my life is now in the right order and I believe that God will be doing some great things in and with my life in the coming season. And I am very excited to be back here and share them with you.

Thank you for your patience and love.
~standing on His Promises~

Monday, December 14, 2009

i'm back :)

I apologize for my very long absence in the blogging world! I will be posting a lot more frequently.

A lot has happened the past five months...the next post will give you a little summary, but for now I wanted to thank you for your patience and for your love. More details to come...

~standing on His Promises~