Monday, December 29, 2008

So many thoughts....

So many my head. I am supposed to be writing a blog that will go up on our website for the Atlanta ATF, this is my chance to speak to the people that look at our site, and for once in my life, I am at a loss for words!


In other news, I am back in Texas at the Honor Academy. I am glad to be back, though I know this next season in my life will be tough and challenging and stretching, if I remember correctly that's why I came here ;)

I'm in a weird mood. Probably because I need to go have ny quiet time, but even more than that, I am just realizing how so many little conflicts or disagreements get turned into big deals, when really all you need to do is die to yourself--> myself included. I am so done arguing over things that don't matter! It's so much easier to serve another person than be selfish (easier in the long run, not in the moment).

God has been showing me a lot lately about my future at the HA. I will plan on staying another year as both a Core Advisor and the Director of the Atlanta ATF (this is all in plan, nothing is for sure or confirmed). This in and of itself will be challenging but I know that I can do so much more than I am currently doing. So because of that I will also be taking all classes offered (8 hours or so) and also working (31 hours) and doing the IET (Intensive Elective Training) program. I hope that this will prepare me for the next season of my life, in removing the limits I place on myself and teaching me how to not stress out over things I cannot control.

Hope you all are doing well!

~standing on His promises~

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Not about me

The last four months, while attending the Honor Academy, have taught me a lot about how the world works. The truth is, life, believe it or not, is not about me.

The homeless man on the street, my family, my friends, the girl working the corner, the waitress, the CEO, the unreached people, the high schooler, the world...they don't need me. I am not going to meet their need. They need love. That is something that only God truly can give. My love, (or version of it) will not save or protect people. God's love, perfect and true, is what they need. I can be a vessel for God's love, but to do that I must be emptied of myself. I must die to myself, and live for God, loving Him and loving others.

I have learned so much these last four months, and I will learn so much more in the coming eight months or so.

I spoke to my old youth pastor and he pointed something out about me that had changed. He told me that when he sees me, he can tell my spirit is so free. And I thought about it, and he is right. Before I left for the Honor Academy, I was so weighed down by lies and by the limitations I had set on myself. However, now I am free, I love to love, and I am who God created me to be.

I wish I could tell you all of the lessons I have learned, but that would be a book, not a blog. ;)

Remember that only God is the one who can define you. I would encourage you to read the book "Special" by Max Lucado (I believe that's the correct title). Find out who God says you are, stick to it, and don't believe the lies any longer. Be set free. And above all else stand on His promises, He never breaks them.

~standing on His Promises~

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Home? Lewiston or Garden Valley? Homeless??

Home. I think that's where I am...I am in my old place of residence, with my family. Back in the same small river town, with people that love me so very much. But this doesn't feel like home anymore. The people do, I think that's the only reason I come back.

The Honor Academy. Home? Temporarily. Again, its the people that keep me there. My family core, my good friends, my team. That's why it's home.

But niether of these "homes" are really mine. My home is somewhere, I'm not sure where though.

Over the past four months I have learned so much. I am a changed woman, and yes I am a woman now, no longer a girl, but a woman. I am striving to be a Godly woman, a woman of honor and love.

Being back home in the valley, has shown me a lot and it's with a heavy heart that I have come to realize that I will not be moving back here after the Honor Academy. My heart is heavy because the people I love and have lived life with are here. There was a point in life when I said I would never leave, and shortly after I said that I left. And now I am not coming back, to live.

God's plans for me are bigger than this valley, He has called me elsewhere. I am praying for the right time to tell my parents, it probably won't be until the spring or summer when it's closer to graduation.

8 months. That's all I have left. But those 8 months are going to grow me so much. Mountian Climbing, Unreached People Group, Celebreations, Atlanta ATF, Missions Trip, and so much more.

I am changed. And the voice of the Shepherd leads me, to no other voice will I run.

~standing on His Promise~
Casey May