After discovering those things and also what my first week looks like (busy and hard) I will also be dealing with the running issue. I can't run, at least not for more than about 5-10 minutes because it is very very hard on my knees and feet (its the whole no toes thing..WAIT have ever told you all that? By the way I have no toes). So yeah, I don't really ever have a problem with the fact that I have no toes, but I really don't like it when it causes me to miss out or be more set apart. Does that make sense? Anyway, I included this little detail on my application and I have no doubt that once they actually take a look at my little feet they will understand and just be amazed that I walk.
God is asking me to be really uncomfortable and do some really hard things, I am discovering this is not as easy as I thought it would be, packing, moving, adjusting, explaining, and being vunerable. All very hard. I am begining to think I don't want to do this after all, but then I remember that its God's plan not mine but still....this is hard and uncomfortable. It would be so much easier to stay here!
I was talking to one of the girls I mentor this morning and as I was telling her how I was feeling about all this and she said to me, "Casey, your sinking again". I was confused to say the least about that, sinking? Then I remembered telling her about how much I am like Peter. I ask God to prove to me that I am doing what He wants and then He does (Jesus walking on water, Peter asks Him to prove Himself by telling him to walk out on the water) and so then I take a leap of faith and test Him and He's right but then I doubt and I began to flounder and sink (Peter walks on the water but then doubts and starts to drown) then I call on Jesus to save me (just like Peter) and He saves me and asks me why I doubt...She was right. Man, Peter and I could have been good friends.
This is hard. But God didn't promise me it would be easy, but He DID promise me that it would be worth it. SO through Him I can do this and by His strength I will do this. He is the one who has to do it because I can't, I just can't do this on my own...I'm too attached and too comfortable and in all honesty too afraid to do this in my own strength.
IT'S ALL YOU GOD AND ITS ALL YOURS
I DON'T WANT IT
~standing on HIS promise~