Suprises

The older I get, the more I realize that God is a God of surprises.

Tonight I find myself once again thinking about the past, present and future. I had a very encouraging conversation with my friend David today, and with most good conversation comes processing.

Just two weeks ago I was in Texas, at the Honor Academy. Today, here at home, it feels like years ago, a mere dream.

I feel like the next 6 weeks is going to be more like a purgatory, a waiting period fully of testing and trails. I was warned about this feeling, this depression that could sink in, the loneliness. I am clinging to Christ with all I have, because in all reality I have no idea where my life is going. Don't get me wrong that is fine, I am getting used to that.

Lord,

I know that I am here for such a time as this.

Please show me what that means.

Draw me to Yourself.

To the secret place.

Where it's just You and me.

I long for You, here in the quiet darkness.

And there in the whirlwind of busyness.

Guide me Lord, along Your path.

I will follow You.

And Lord,

that man that I wait for,

draw him to You too.

Prepare us, for the right time.

May our hearts be fixed on You.

Always on our first love, Christ Jesus.

And in this waiting, Lord,

have Your way.

~Standing on His Promises~

CaseyMay

The Minority

I feel like I am in the minority here. Why is it that I am not invited/included in things just because I love Jesus. And why on earth am I labeled "religious"!!! I HATE that word, it instantly puts up a wall between me and others. No invites, no personal relationships, no good friendships, all because I am in LOVE with Jesus??? What the crap?!

Why is right wrong and wrong right? Why is true love traded in for attention? Why is this place so screwed up? Why can't they see what we see?

Why can I not tell them or show them who Jesus is? Why don't they ask more questions? What are they afraid of?

This suffering is small, so small. But I'm starting to feel it, the rejection, alienation, despair, urgency, and burdened heart.

Lord Jesus,

Bridge this gap with Your grace. Fill me to the point of overflowing

Use me Jesus to reach this messed up world

Give me the strength to be in not of the world

Shine brightly through me Jesus

so that there is no doubt that I am Yours and that I am set apart for You

Be my strength Jesus

Continue to guide me in Your footsteps

and forgive them for they know not what they do Jesus.

My God, rise up a generation on fire for You

that they may have the cries of Your heart.

My heart screams for Your people

it cries out in pain Jesus for those lost

for the hurting, dying, lost people

MY GOD BE THEIR REFUGE

BE THEIR STRENGTH

BE THEIR SAVIOR

RESCUE THEM JESUS

SAVE THEM FROM THE ENEMY GOD

RISE UP YOUR ARMY LORD

SEND US INTO BATTLE TO FIGHT

FOR THE LOST SOULS OF THIS WORLD

JESUS SHINE SO BRIGHTLY THROUGH US

THAT THE DARKNESS WOULD FLEE

AND ALL WOULD KNOW YOU

My soul is crying out to you tonight, it mourns for Your people.

Its in Your power Jesus that I pray these things.

amen

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

Blessed

Today, I feel extremely blessed. Why?? Because I got to GIVE! I got to give my talents, time and treasures to my best friend and her family. I got her a plaque (clear crystal) that has a poem about best friends on it, her love language is gifts so I knew it would mean a lot to her (mine is words of affirmation so it worked for me too). I got the chance to just be with her sitting/laying/walking, just being. No words necessary, we knew what each other needed and embraced the opportunities to laugh at ourselves. Like the idea of cutting ourselves in half so each of us could have part of the other to take with us.

What blessed me the most though, was being able to pray over her and anoint her. I felt the spirit of God in the room. I loved giving her up to God.

~standing on His Promise~

Casey

Carry Me Away

It's been a day of good things but filled with an emotional rollercoaster, why, I'm not sure, maybe it has to do with hormones, but somehow I think its a little bigger than that. Tonight I feel so heavy with emotion. I am torn, having to balance how I spend my time, which is running out. How do you equally divide your time between the people you truly love and care about? I feel like I end up hurting someone, whether thats true or not, I don't know. Is this anyones fault? No, no its not, its just the way it has to be, its growing up, its reality.

Now I have to face the harsh reality that this time its not them leaving me, but that I am leaving them. I am the one abandoning them, leaving them to pick up the pieces, answer the hard questions and go it alone.

I'm so tired and I know that right now all I can do is be carried by my Father because I am not strong enough to do this. I'm not strong enought to say goodbye. I'm not strong enough to walk away. I'm just not strong enough...

thankfully I don't have to be.

"And even though I'm walking through the valley of the shadow, I will hold tight to the hand of Him whose love will comfort me and when all hope is gone and I've been wounded in the battle. He is all the strength that I will ever need. He will carry me."

Carry me away Lord Jesus,

Be my strength

Be my guide

Be my Savior

Be You

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay