Rain Rain Go Away

RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN

I hate the rain.

At least I do tonight.

RAIN RAIN RAIN

reminds me of sad things

At least it does tonight

RAIN RAIN

makes me feel a lot like Eeyore

Tonight at least

RAIN

sucks

Tonight anyway

Identity

Identity. So many times in my life I have found my identity in things or people. And I admit I still struggle with that here are some examples and just letting you know I am going to be very real with you.

Smoking. Yep I admit I was a smoker (haven't had one in six months and won't have one ever again). I had my first cigerette when I was 13 and yes it was because it was "cool" but it didn't stop there. I soon began buying cigerettes from my friends who stole them from their family members. I smoked off and on for a year or so and then after being saved was convienced I didn't need them. Until I turned 18. I turned back to smoking as a way of coping or escaping instead of going to God. After feeling much conviction in the next few months I made the decision to quit, again. After graduating high school last year things seemed to fall apart especially after entering my first semester of college. My sister was struggling with self-injury and I couldn't "fix" her, my grandma was dying, and I didn't know what to do. So I went back to smoking and stuck with it until December.

I needed to identify with something or someone.

You could label it as a cry for help and in some ways it was. Last weekend I was in the presence of a smoker and something inside me longed to participate, longed to taste the nicotine, longed to feel the burn and smell the smoke. But I didn't, no, I couldn't. I was totally thrown by why this was effecting me, I will never smoke again, I promised God that I never would put things above Him, I would go to Him with my troubles.

Identity

Boys...yep like all girls I sought affirmation, no, definition from boys. I knew how to get their attention, I flaughted what I had and I got attention all right, but soon found out it was not the kind I wanted.I learned quickly, only by the grace of God, that I didn't want that.

Who am I?

I am the fat girl, I am the good girl, I am smoker, I am the attention whore, I am the boss, I am the druggy, I am everything and nothing...

The truth is you guys. I am not any of these things but rather I am defined by God as His child. Which means I am:

"I am a child of God"

John 1:12

"I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit"

John 15:16

I am God's workmanship--His handiwork--born anew in Christ to do His work.

Ephesians 2:10

I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved.

Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4

I am free forever from condemnation.

Romans 8:1

I have been bought with a price; I am not my own; I belong to God.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

I was predestined--determined by God--to be adopted as God's daughter. Ephesians 1:5

I may approach God with boldness, freedom and confidence.

Ephesians 3:12

I have been made complete in Christ.

Colossians 2:10

These are my promises that I hold onto. It is Him that will define me. Not my past, not my present, not my future. Just Him. Thats all I need.

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

The Wall

So today I participated in some team building activities that included a trust fall, low ropes course, and wall climb. This was pretty emotionally/mentally draining not to mention physically too.

The wall...the object of this was to work together to get over the 12 ft wall using only each other. This was the most challenging for me. When we finished the activity we were all asked to share what the wall represented in our lives, something that we have faced in our lives or something that we are currently facing. When it was my turn I walked up to the wall, laying my hand on it (like we all had to) and shared what my wall is:

"What this wall represents in my life is change, getting out of my comfort zone, moving on and know that the people that helped me get here, though far away, have helped me get here. And I can move on and do this on my own" I couldn't get through it with out crying. I am a cryer, having the spiritual gift of mercy doesn't help either ;) lots of tears were shed on the wall today.

I want to share more about whats been going on but i'm exhausted, so more later!

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

Leaving a Legacy

Children.
Today at work I noticed something (surprising since I've been up since 4:30am) children model what they see from the people the look up too (mom,dad, siblings etc). I know some of you are saying, "Casey, you didn't notice this before??" And yes I have noticed it (I've been working with kids for 6 years). But it really struck me this morning. One five year old girl was walking around all in a huff talking under her breath complaining about the situation, almost to the point of disrespect. I thought to myself, "Where did she learn that?"..."Her mom, more than likely".

We as people have the power to influence in HUGE ways, especially as parents (not speaking from experience).I began to think of the ways I have impacted those around me.

I am leaving this small little river town in 2 months. How will people remember me? What impact will I have on their lives? Will they say I helped or hurt? Encouraged or discouraged? Loved or hated? Shown them Jesus or shown them hypocrisy?

I know I have made an impact though.
"[Casey] This is my lovely babe. She is my core group leader. She helps me through everything. She got me to love myself like I should :) If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be going to youth group, she makes it awesome, I can tell her anything and she will listen and give me advice. She helps me through anything I am struggling with. I love her with all my heart, and I always will, even if she does get into college in Minnesota T_T. I love you. "---Hannah--hero sect of myspace

The way my preschoolers on Sunday smile and hug me and tell their parents how much they love me, some even pray for me every night!


The way the kids/teens at work talk to me about their lives and seek advice and now want to impact others in the community

The way my core group has grown into young women and how they can now
comfort each other and me.

The way my best friend prayer mightily and speaks the truth in love.

My sisters, growing up and growing in their love for Jesus and learning to trust Him

My upcoming mission trip.

But I take no credit, for it is all God's doing. Him working through me, I am nothing made into something only for His glory...and it has been so awesome. So I can look back and be ok with moving on. There is still time for more impact before I go and thats exciting. And there's time for you too :)

I am leaving behind a legacy. And I wouldn't have it any other way. This is my comfort and my strength for saying goodbye.

~standing on His Promise~
CaseyMay

*thank you for the encouragement on my last post, I took it to heart and it was a lovely reminder of God's promise to reward obedience and that I will suffer as He did for His Glory*

The Minority

I feel like I am in the minority here. Why is it that I am not invited/included in things just because I love Jesus. And why on earth am I labeled "religious"!!! I HATE that word, it instantly puts up a wall between me and others. No invites, no personal relationships, no good friendships, all because I am in LOVE with Jesus??? What the crap?!

Why is right wrong and wrong right? Why is true love traded in for attention? Why is this place so screwed up? Why can't they see what we see?

Why can I not tell them or show them who Jesus is? Why don't they ask more questions? What are they afraid of?

This suffering is small, so small. But I'm starting to feel it, the rejection, alienation, despair, urgency, and burdened heart.

Lord Jesus,

Bridge this gap with Your grace. Fill me to the point of overflowing

Use me Jesus to reach this messed up world

Give me the strength to be in not of the world

Shine brightly through me Jesus

so that there is no doubt that I am Yours and that I am set apart for You

Be my strength Jesus

Continue to guide me in Your footsteps

and forgive them for they know not what they do Jesus.

My God, rise up a generation on fire for You

that they may have the cries of Your heart.

My heart screams for Your people

it cries out in pain Jesus for those lost

for the hurting, dying, lost people

MY GOD BE THEIR REFUGE

BE THEIR STRENGTH

BE THEIR SAVIOR

RESCUE THEM JESUS

SAVE THEM FROM THE ENEMY GOD

RISE UP YOUR ARMY LORD

SEND US INTO BATTLE TO FIGHT

FOR THE LOST SOULS OF THIS WORLD

JESUS SHINE SO BRIGHTLY THROUGH US

THAT THE DARKNESS WOULD FLEE

AND ALL WOULD KNOW YOU

My soul is crying out to you tonight, it mourns for Your people.

Its in Your power Jesus that I pray these things.

amen

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

Its Happening Much To My Surprise

Ok its not official until next week and I'm missing the details but I can say with confidence that I am going to the Honor Academy Minnesota in August, and it is for sure that I'm going to Mexico in less than 2 months for a mission trip. I know these things are happening

yet they feel so unreal

I can't even imagine these experiences yet I will be a part of them in just a matter of months! I am so out of my element mentally, I have no clue what to expect, no idea as to how to handle things, I am completely in the dark.

It's the greatest feeling in the world

Those of you who have been getting to know me, know that I am a control freak (not as bad, but still a type A personality) I am the one that wants to know everything before hand and be prepared for everything. I want to know who, what, when, where, why and how all before it even happens.

Yet I have found JOY in the unknown, in God's mysteriousness in the unknown promises, in His surprises. I know where God is asking me to go, yet I am still so amazed and so joyfully clueless, and I am so glad that He is in control. I am so excited to see whats going to happen. Two-three months can go by so fast and yet so slow, but its ok. I'm on His schedule not mine and thats my favorite place to be.

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay

Faith Is Hope In The Things Unseen

I have faith in things I can not see, I have faith in the Promises of God that have yet to come to fruition. I am about to embark on an amazing journey, one that is going to change my life forever. I have faith that I am going to the Honor Academy and that I will experience God in ways I can not fathom.

The paradox of time is ever present.

The days can't come fast enough and the months are flying by.

I am where God wants me, totally clueless, dependent on Him and His strength.

I honestly, never thought this day would come, that God would rock my face off. I was so afraid of this very thing, the thing that has brought me so much JOY.

There will be days when I will feel

alone.

"Never will I leave you nor forsake you"

There will be times when I want to

give up

"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"

There will be times when I will be filled with

JOY

"The Joy of the Lord is your strength"

I will hold tight to hand of God.

Where He leads I will follow.

He is the shepherd

I am a sheep.

BAAAAAAAAAAAA

Here we go.

~standing on His Promise~

CaseyMay