Waiting, lots of waiting

Another season of waiting. I can't seem to escape those.

I am seeing God start to give me some of the deepest desires of my heart. I have been praying for a godly group of women to live with, and the Lord is preparing the hearts my best friend and her roommate, uniting their hearts with mine, having the same passion for the Lord. It's wonderful. Yet we all are waiting for August to arrive, to bring us back together.

I am waiting. On many things. One thing that I have been waiting on for years, some days I feel like it could happen tomorrow, other days I feel like I may have to wait another 10 years. I know that somewhere out there is my husband, and I am waiting for him, or more accurately waiting for God.

"Delight yourself in the Lord;

And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord

Trust also in Him and He will do it."

-Psalm 37:4-5

Tonight is one of those nights when I have many questions without answers. I am wondering, "Is he thinking of me? Does he even know me? Is he waiting for me like I am waiting for him? How much longer will I wait? Why does this desire keep growing?" Many times I have asked the Lord to take this desire from me, but He does not. So I will bear this burden, tonight it weighs heavily upon my heart. And yet, I will wait, yes I will wait on the Lord.

"He is here. He is here.

Be still my soul, be still.

Be still my soul, be still.

Wait patiently upon the Lord.

Be still my soul, be still"

-Kari Jobe 'Be still'

The Lord can and will hold my heart, He is my all in all, He satisfies even the deepest longings of my heart.

~Standing on His Promises~

CaseyMay

Processing

What a season of life. In some aspects it is ever changing and in others it is so still or should I say stale?

*Sigh*

My heart hurts. The Lord has been revealing things to me tonight that I did not want to see. He is good at that. I don't like to admit when people have hurt me, I have always played the strong, tough woman. Ha, yeah right. The truth is, friends, I have a very soft heart, my feelings do get hurt, and my heart does get broken.

Oh, Lord, I have been careless once again, and find my heart in pieces. Will I ever learn? Thank You for Your grace! Lord, please come to me, meet me here in my moment of weakness, of need, of desperation.

Vulnerability. Exposure. Words that no one really likes. In times like this I think I know how Eve felt in the garden, when we discovered she was naked, and had sinned against the Lord. She hid, and God still knew, and called to her.

This is good, yet painful. Hosea 6:1-3, Lord break me, so that You can rebuild me.

~Standing on His Promises~

CaseyMay

So much going on

Well friends, life has been interesting the past month or so. I really don't know where God is taking me, but that is ok-because I am trusting the Lord. I know that He has a plan and that His ways are higher than my ways.

Its been an interesting journey, I am currently at a dessert season with the Lord. But I will not quite pursuing Him. Often I have felt that I am on a path with many forks on the road ahead, and here I am, waiting. I have been standing in the same spot for what seems like forever, and I am so weary of standing. In fact I cannot stand anymore, all I can do is sink to my knees. And keep waiting.

I am currently sitting in Salt Lake City, at the airport on my way to see my best friend Samantha. :) Then tomorrow night I fly home to visit my family for a week and a half. Then back to Samantha and on campus May 2nd. This is going to be hopefully a very clarity filled, fun, relaxing time.

~Standing On His Promises~

CaseyMay

Trust

The Lord is teaching me a lot about trust.

I graduate my internship in August. I had a plan of where I was going to college. Now I discover that it would cost be $18,000, to go there-that is after all the loans and financial aid. So, now what?

Wait.

Waiting is painful. But I know this will only bring me closer to the Lord.

~Standing on His Promises~

CaseyMay

Sometimes there are no words

I have found that there have been many times the last week or so that there are no words to describe how I feel.

I have found comfort and joy, in the presence of the Lord. In many ways I have been broken, and restored. Hosea 6:1-3 says:

Come, let us return to the LORD

For He has torn us, but He will heal us;

He has wounded us, but He will bandage us.

²"He will revive us after two days;

He will raise us up on the third day,

That we may live before Him.

³"So let us know, let us press on to know the LORD

His going forth is as certain as the dawn;

And He will come to us like therain,

Like the spring rain watering the earth."

I feel as though this is my current season. So much is going on right now in my head, and in my heart. I am being refined and it is good.

Just yesterday the Lord used me in a very unique way.

I was attending a church that I normally don't attend, and at the end of the service a young woman came up to me. And she told me that I brought so much joy to her (I was convinced that she had the wrong person). She went on to say that she had seen me worshiping, and noticed my hands. (If you didn't know, I am missing some fingers on my left hand due to a birth defect, the doctors diagnosed it as amniotic band syndrome, my opinion is that is not accurate but that is a different story)...this woman began to tell me that she has a 1 year old daughter with amniotic bands that she had recently put up for adoption. She had been very angry with God about her daughters condition, and thought that maybe she had done something wrong. She said that she later that she hoped her daughter would grow up to be confident like I was. I admitted to her that I had never been confident until the Lord worked in my heart a year and a half ago, but since her daughter was being raised in a Christian home, she shouldn't struggle too much.

The Lord used me to heal this woman's heart, and I didn't do anything but worship God...the Lord has promised to bring glory to His name through my hands and feet (I also have no toes...). He is making good on that promise, more so then I realized...

~Standing on His Promises~

CaseyMay

Thoughts

Today I think I have a lot on my mind.

Separating the massive amounts of things on my mind is the challenge.

I love the Lord, so much, I am falling more in love with Him each day.

I need Him, more than anything, I can not live without Him.

I am tired and weary today.

But the Lord promises to give me rest.

His yoke is easy an His burden is light.

I want to get married.

I am waiting on the Lord.

I am not anxious.

I am not waiting in vain, I am learning so much.

The Lord's timing is perfect.

My future is in front of me.

I think I know my next step.

But most of I want to know its what God wants.

I am a new creation in Christ.

I trust the Lord so much more, I am not in control.

I love it.

The Lord is sovereign.

He promises to work all things out for good.

I am 21 years old.

But I love be child-like.

My heartaches for the orphans of the world.

I long to be a mother, to as many children as possible.

I desire to see people set free by the love of Christ.

Its been a rough day.

I think I need a good cry.

But more then anything,

I just want to be held.

Lord,

Like a little girl I come to You.

Tired, broken, longing,

needing to be loved,

to be held,

to be reminded of who I am.

Lord I need to feel Your strong, loving arms around me.

Meet me here Jesus.

Your Beloved longs for you,

calling Your name in the streets,

searching for the One she loves.

Things are changing...I like it :)

Hello everyone!

I have been so busy, I am sorry, both my events are coming up very quickly! Atlanta is NEXT WEEKEND! I can't believe it! Nashville is in just 4 weeks! Crazy...

The Lord has been doing a lot in my life the past few months-2 months to be exact. I am falling more in love with Christ everyday. In the last few weeks, especially, the Lord has been transforming me. I have really begun to trust the Lord, I am not nearly as stressed or uptight as I used to be, its like my personality has changed, and its wonderful. I feel like my season of life is going to change, though I don't know in what way specifically-I'll keep you updated.

I am listening to sermons by Voodie Bauchum about biblical manhood and womanhood, they are so good. You should check it out at this link

Let me know your thoughts.