The happenings of the last few months

Well friends, here is the update on my life in my long absence.

In August I graduated the Honor Academy and became a graduate intern (GI). My role would be a manager over the Acquire the Fire events in Atlanta and later Nashville. Many changes ensued at the end of August/beginning of September not only in my work/management but also in my personal life. In the end of September and beginning of October I worked A LOT of overtime and was very stressed out. In my own personal life I was feeling very alone.

I didn't know how to start over, again. New people, new opportunities and seemingly no one that really knew me. I began to realize how dependent I was on people and other things, I started meeting with a Christian counselor-which helped heal my heart so much, I realized my signs of dependency and would stop myself before I was dependant. But I still didn't know how to start healthy relationships, so I just didn't. I was also scared of loving deeply again, because real love hurts. I was distant in my relationship with the Lord too. When I sought Him for answers I heard no answer so I just decided to do it myself.

I have been unsuccessfully doing everything on my own strength until yesterday. I knew that coming back home for Christmas (for almost a month) would break me. And my first day home, it did. I knew that I couldn't do anything anymore, I needed God so badly. I know that my life is now in the right order and I believe that God will be doing some great things in and with my life in the coming season. And I am very excited to be back here and share them with you.

Thank you for your patience and love.
~standing on His Promises~
CaseyMay

i'm back :)

I apologize for my very long absence in the blogging world! I will be posting a lot more frequently.

A lot has happened the past five months...the next post will give you a little summary, but for now I wanted to thank you for your patience and for your love. More details to come...

~standing on His Promises~

CaseyMay

I lose

So today is a day that I think I can't win. It seems as though in my relationship with my family that things just get worse, today is one of those days. I know that they, just like me, are trying to figure out how this family relationship works with me being so far away and having "my own life." They can speak out of hurt feelings, which end up also hurting me, but I choose to love them even when it is hard, I am in no way saying or carrying myself as to believe that I am better than them. But I am being honest when I say that love isn't easy sometimes.

Sigh. I am trying to do the best I can with what I have been given. I am in Texas, 1,973 miles away from them, and due to my busy schedule and financial situation I can't go home very often. I know that they miss me a lot and that without me being there it makes things a little more difficult for them. I am doing my best to see past their words/attitudes/actions that may not seem loving and look to their hearts and see that they are hurt because they love me so much.

This is hard. Walking in God's will is not easy, especially when those you love the most disagree with you. But Christ being crucified was not easy either. The cross that we are called to carry gets heavy and causes hurt, but we do not carry it alone, it is by God's strength that we take every step and He is the healer of the broken and says that in our brokenness He is made complete.

Please pray for my family and me. Pray that we both discern God's will for me and that we are faithful to walk out in it, despite what our own will is.

~standing on His Promises~
Casey May

Anew day

A new hope.

My heart

My heart hurts.

Please Lord wrap Your arms around me and make this pain go away.

the end.

Learning lessons

Ok, so my Core Advisor asked our core (the six of us girls that life together), to fast from men. In everyway, no talking, texting, touching, hand signal, etc. She said that God really burdened her with this, and it was confirmed many times, even in some of the girls' hearts.

It was hard to deal with at first, most of me wanted to rebel and not do it. But it was in that moment that I realized I needed it. So often we can let the relationships in our life distract us from God, especially with men. Something that God is trying to show me is that I often try and please men instead of Him.

And because I know tha God is preparing me to be a wife and a mother in this season of singleness, its hard to gurad my heart and mind. I am at an internship where there are some great men of God, and there is no dating, but as a woman often finds, it can be very hard not to play the "What if?" game. So now that I am on a fast from men, I am focusing more on the Lord. I think that through this I am going to mature a lot as a woman. Not only that but I am also going grow in my intimacy with the Lord. I am excited but it is a challenge. Some of them are confused because they think we are ignoring them, poor guys. It's really hard when some of them you are really close to (one of my friends sits rights across from me, we face eahc other, luckily he is not here right now, and then leave for his mission trip, hopefully when he comes back it will be over).

I will keep you updated! Thank you all for your continued prayers and support!
~standing on His Promises~
CaseyMay

Been too long again!

Hello everyone
Again it seems as though I have lost track of time. Finished all my finals last week and now am thankfully in summer mode!

I got really sunburnt this weekend, and am still recovering-turns out Texas sun can be brutal. I can't tell you how excited I am for this next season of my life. I am entering a season of preperation. Like Esther. She went away for a year and prepared herself for marriage. That is where I am at, not neccesarily in the literal sense (there is still no dating and right now I am married to Jesus). However, I am falling more in love with Jesus everyday. I am learning how to grow into the woman God has called me to be. I am His bride. He adores me, He thinks I am the most beautiful woman, He longs to be with me, He draws me into His presence. It's wonderful.

I am excited to hear about what is going on in your lives! Please share. Thank you for all of your support as I continue to break through financial barrers. I am hopeful that this summer I can begin to fund raise for my next year-which thankfully is $2400 cheaper!

~standing on His Promises~
CaseyMay