Wow.
God is really teaching me a lot of things. One thing He has been impressing upon my heart is being real---admitting and acknowledging my past failures and mistake, those times that weren't so pretty, that were down right disgusting. That is so hard for me, maybe it's a pride thing, maybe it's trust, or maybe it because it's hard and uncomfortable.
If there is one thing I know, it's that God is certainly not going to let me be comfortable this year.
I am getting up at 4:30 AM to exercise Mon-Fri, not by choice, Mr. Hasz calls it worship, and I am beginning to see why. It is there every morning in the dark, still, quiet morning that I beat and crucify my flesh, where I push myself as hard as I can, relying on God's strength instead of my own-this is my act of worship. We exercise on what they call the anvil- and this word brings a visual image to my mind. A metal worker taking a red hot iron out of the fire, placing it on the anvil, and pounding it with a hammer to mold it and shape it. The clang on the metal rings in my ears as I run every morning. God is the metal worker and I am the iron. Refinement hurts but it is worth it. It is the only way to become more like Christ.
I am searching for my identity in Christ. I have discovered so many things that I have believed that are lies from the enemy. Some I didn't even know about. It was then that I realized-apart from the lies, I really don't know who I am. I have believed these things for so long, but now I am replacing them with the TRUTH- God's word.
So much more is happening, bu t I couldn't begin to tell you all of it because it would take up way to much room and time. I hope and pray y'all are doing well and I thank you so much for all you have done for me.
~standing on His Promise~
CaseyMay
5 comments:
Great post. It is always nice to let out all the things on your heart! i enjoy reading, and pray for you each chance I get... you and Samantha both. :)
Keep doing what you are doing and the LORD will see you through... He always does!
Stepheny
WOW!!! I can't wait to see you...not sure when we can make it over again but hopefully soon! I know God is doing a deep work in your life and I am thankful He has allowed us to have a small part in it!
Love you!!!
thinking of you :-)
praying things are well!
That's awesome that you think of your exercise as worship. I was thinking of your post this morning on my run. The fact that I was pushing myself & 'crucifying my flesh' {& believe me, this am it really felt like it!} was actually my act of worship to God got me through my 'wall' when I wanted to quit. Thanks for sharing that with us, CaseyMay.
I pray things are going well for you.
{hugs}
Casey, I am so glad to hear that things are going well. If all of your teachers are like this one, I am definately impressed. Your description of your morning exercise and everything you are learning in general sounds wonderful. I am so glad to hear that God is continuing to work in your life and that you are growing closer to Him.
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