What am I even doing?

Here I am, in my living room at 12:13 AM, all alone. Left with my thoughts, the true condition of my heart exposed. No where to run. No where to hide.


I just took my quiz 6 minutes before the deadline. I have so much homework due this week it's crazy, and very little time to accomplish it. That has been the story of my life for the last 4-6 weeks.


I sit here asking myself, "What am I even doing here?" What can I cut back on to get more time. The truth is I can't. I am prioritizing, which sometimes means ministry or relationships over school. Which is what happened tonight, I had bible study and fellowship after work. Which was great, I am involved in youth ministry, which I love. I have two jobs, which I also love. 


I am reminded of our bible study tonight, we talked about being bought with a price, that we are not our own but God's. That being a follower of Christ isn't easy, and requires sacrifice and time, which is painful and not easy.


Is that my season Lord? Time sacrificing? 


AbbaFather,
I am so weary, I need You.
I am tired of being an adult,
I do not want to worry about the bills,
the grades, the lack of money, lack of sleep,
lack of  faith, lack of everything.
Father, my soul longs for You.
I want to be wrapped in Your arms,
I want Your comfort, hold me.
Restore my soul
Restore my spirit,
Restore my hope Jesus.


~Set Apart for Him~
CaseyMay