A Vulnerable Moment

Hello readers,

I know I said I transferred blogs, and I have. But I still want to post here too. :)

We've been married two months now! Marriage is wonderful, and there has been a lot of learning and growing in the last 60 days.

I can't recall if I have mentioned this subject before on my blog, but I am just needing to share a little bit about what God is doing in my life, and in my heart.

Like many women, I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, (PCOS). Without going into too much detail I will explain what this means. Basically, my body doesn't produce enough of the female hormones to cause me to have a monthly cycle. This effects my ability to conceive.

Many of you may be asking, "Are you trying to get pregnant? You just got married!". I have heard this reply many times. And yes, we are trying, rather we are trusting God to give us a child in His timing.
As my husband and I have prayed and sought the Lord,  we have decided not to use fertility drugs to get pregnant.

I have always wanted to be a mother. Always. I know that is what I created to be. I have known for years that it would be very difficult to get pregnant and I didn't worry too much about it because I was single. But now that I am married, being pregnant is a possibility (though right now, a very unlikely one).

I can't adequately explain to you what this process is like. I can only equate it to a previous season of my life. When I was waiting for God to bring me my husband. I experienced pain watching others live out the desire of my heart, I knew God was going to give me this promise in His timing, but the waiting was painful and the questions in my heart often caused the tears to fall from my eyes. This is where trust is built. This is where God gets the glory in our darkest hours of the unknown. This is waiting.

This is my journey. This is where my heart tears, into wanting something so badly but surrendering to God's will. I am so happy for my many friends that are welcoming new little babies into their families, and I know that someday I will have one of my own, either naturally or through adoption. I know this waiting is worth it in the end, but my heart longs for the day that this promise is delivered.

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen... By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise; for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God. By faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since SHE CONSIDERED HIM FAITHFUL WHO HAD PROMISED." Hebrews 11:1,9-11

~Standing on His Promises~
CaseyMay

The Promise

Hello Readers! (if any of you are still there!)

Well, it is official, I am married! March 10, 2012 in my hometown, I married the love of my life. It was perfect, in everyway. I will be posting pictures soon! Please visit our family blog to keep up to date with married life!

www.forhisgloryandourgood.blogspot.com


Next post: A Call I Did Not Want....

NEW BLOG

Hello faithful followers!

I have some exciting news! In light of getting married in just 31 days! (WoooHooo!!!) my soon-to-be husband and I have started a new blog. My hope is that I can write in two blogs at once, but that may be difficult. So I would kindly ask that you follow our new blog:

www.forhisgloryandourgood.blogspot.com

Please, please, please follow it. I am so excited, and am hoping to put up quite a few entries between now and the wedding!

I love you all!

~Standing on His Promises~
CaseyMay

Weary, but not defeated

It has been a rough couple of weeks. I believe the Lord is refining me in a lot of difficult ways. This process has shown me so much of my sin, my selfishness, jealousy, impatience, judgement, wicked, deceitful motives. It has been quite the humbling experience.


In these past few days it has been exceedingly difficult emotionally. As a woman, these emotions can seem unbearable and overwhelming. We all have those times when the lies seem like the truth. It has been a battle of the mind this week.


Like a soldier in battle, I fought passionately and valiantly.
But I soon found myself in over my head.
My morale was low.
I was wounded.
And I had no more strength to fight.
I was running low on ammunition.
It appeared that I was going to succumb to defeat.


But God is ever-faithful to be our strength.
He has given me fellow soldiers of the faith to speak truth over me.
To strength my weary arms.
And the Holy Spirit to equip me with the power of Jesus Christ.


I am in a season with many unknowns.
Which means I have many opportunities to trust God.
And I often fail.
I could make many excuses for my feelings that don't align with the truth of God's word.
But those excuses don't change my situation.


So, what do we do? How do we overcome? How do I get through this season that seems so incredibly hard, and at some times very unfair?


An all too familiar passage comes to mind. Philippians 4:6-8 (emphasis mine)

⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 ⁸ Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

So, we are to pray about everything, especially the things that cause us anxiety. We are also to be thankful. (Why does it seem like I always forget that part?!) Have you noticed that when we pause to thank God for all He has given us that we have  a better attitude?
We also must think about good things! We can't keep ourselves in this vicious cycle of negativity! We must think about things that are true, right, pure, honorable, lovely, and praiseworthy. 


I believe this is key to overcoming and gaining victory in the battle of the mind through Jesus Christ. I will not pretend to be perfect, I am probably the worst at this, and I am still trying to apply this to my life.


~Set Apart for Him~
CaseyMay

Choosing Contentment

The last few months have been crazy busy. But so good.


I have noticed that often many women struggle with being content, and truly letting themselves trust God with their daily lives, and their future. I am not an exception to this, in fact I am probably the poster-child of such a woman.


Why is it so hard to trust God? It says in Genesis 3:16 it says:

I will greatly multiply 
Your pain ^[e]in childbirth, 
In pain you will ^(Q)bring forth children; 
Yet your desire will be for your husband, 
And ^(R)he will rule over you.”

 I have read many books that say this "desire for your husband" will be a desire to control and manipulate. At first I wasn't sure about that, but now I understand. Women like to be in control, I think it is so we can protect ourselves from the unknowns of life. I have been studying and meditating on contentment a lot over the last few weeks. I am finding that true contentment comes when you trust God for your today and your tomorrows. Just recently I looked back over the last few months and realized, with a heavy heart, that I have missed out on so many happy moments because I have been anxious or worried about the future. Growing up my mother always called me a "know-it-all" and "curious-George", I wanted to know everything-even then.


Sometimes I wonder why I didn't learn this before entering into my relationship with Phillip, but then I realize that this maybe the very sanctification God brings when you are in a relationship. (Ephesians 5) So how do I learn to be content?


I must not worry about tomorrow, but trust God to help me daily. (Matthew 6:34) Not compare my life with anyone else, or wish things were different than they are. (These principles taken from the book Calming the Anxious Heart).


This is not an easy lesson to apply, it is always a choice. And I know there is freedom in trusting God, and trusting His timing. I don't want to miss out of the joys of today because I am worried about the things of tomorrow. 


~Standing on His Promises~
CaseyMay

Looking back to help me look forward

I seem to find myself in a transition of a transition. (yes that is repetitive, and somewhat confusing). 


It is like I am walking down a road, and so far this road has had some twists and turns, and some rough terrain but the scenery and general direction has been the same. And now, as I continue walking I am seeing some very small changes that lead me to believe this road is transitioning. The trees are thinning out, the flowers along the road are different, and in the distance I think I can see a sharp turn in the road, but I do not know what is around the corner.


This can spark some fear, or apprehension for me. But before I let the fear of the unknown overtake me, I stop walking and look at the road I have behind me. Though I cannot see the road in its entirety, I can remember it well in my mind. I see the place I started, a barren dessert land, with an uncharted path in front of me. I can remember losing my way and straying from the path a few times, finding myself if some very scary situations, and calling for help and being rescued. I can remember the joy I had when seeing the first signs of life, flowers, animals, green lush grass. I remember other turns in the road that scared me, drop off edges with only a narrow path to walk. I was so afraid, but I knew that I had to move forward, and once I made it safely I saw the most beautiful site yet-a peaceful flower filled meadow. And  then there were those forks in the road, deciding which path to take. At times the choice was clear, and at other points I just had to trust my intuition. And all these things led me to the road I am on right now.


So as I approach this new part of the road, with this unknown corner and unknown conditions, instead of being fearful, I choose to be excited, for this is just another adventure, and around that corner could be the best part of this journey so far and if it is not, than I know that this road is leading me closer to the One that created me, and His plan is better than mine.

Sadly walking out of this season into another unknown. But the Lord is faithful, and my heart is thankful.

~Standing on His Promises~

CaseyMay

Surrender

What does it mean to surrender?

Dictionary. com defines the word surrender as "to yield to the possession or power of another....to give up, abandon, or relinquish...to yield or resign..."

Surrender is not a happy word. How often do we hear that we need to 'surrender to God'? Every time someone says that to me, a cringe a little. Why? Because I am a recovering control freak, and I am a prideful human being that doesn't like to be under someone's authority, even God's. How easy is it for us to yield our control to someone else? To give up control of our lives to someone else, in the small thing and the big things?

Imagine walking down the street and some random person approaching you and asking you if they could decide what clothes you wear or what you eat or how you handle your money or pick out your spouse. I bet that many of us would not surrender our lives over to a stranger, but what if it was someone you knew? Someone you trusted? What if they were the wisest, most responsible person you knew?

What if that person was all knowing, all powerful, unchanging God?

"Well, of course I would trust God" It is easy to say that, but let's take this a step further...If you are a follower of Christ, then your life is not your own. (1 Cor. 6:19-20) You are under the headship of Christ (1 Cor. 11:3). God has given us everything (Colossians 1:16-19) therefore nothing is truly ours, small or large. Friends, it is not easy to yield our lives to Christ, surrendering or relinquishing our control to God is not always pleasant. As a woman that struggles with remembering that God is the one in control, instead of  me, I often find that I take back control and have to let go once more, painfully.

Even though surrender is painful and somewhat scary, it is so necessary. God knows everything, He is perfect, He is all knowing, and His plans are always good. Like a parent who knows what their child needs, good food, rest, water, exercise, the child doesn't always like what is best for them.  God is our Father, and He knows what is best, and that is keeping Him as the center of our lives, and the one that is in control of out lives.

Surrender to God out of love for Him, and because He is worthy of it. Our lives are reflections of what God and He wants to use our lives for His glory.

~Standing on His Promises~

CaseyMay