A Stirring in My Heart

Hello friends! I, regrettably, have been absent from blog world recently. But, I am feeling refreshed and renewed with an exciting, and intimidating vision from the Lord. My journey will start here, in blog land. You are invited to investigate with me, "What is a Biblical Woman?" Now, I know that many of you already have such a firm grasp on this, so please be patient with me if I am repeating what you already know.

As a 24 year old college student, newlywed and pastor's wife, I hear a lot of different views and opinions of what a woman should be, but only one thing really matters to me, what does God say a woman should be? If we are made in God's image, what attributes of God are we to bear? What does it look like to be a woman devoted to the Lord? How does culture influence our perception of Biblical Womanhood? What does it really mean to submit to my husband as I submit to the Lord?

Ultimately...What does it mean to be a woman?

This will be an exciting adventure, and I am sure many of us will be surprised by what we learn about God, ourselves, and the culture we live in.

~Set Apart for Him~
CaseyMay

An Issue of Pride

It has lately come to my attention that in almost all of my outward sin issues, the root of it all is pride.

Let me give you a very real example. And maybe this will hit home for some of you too.

Yesterday I stumbled across a blog by a good friend of mine, he included a youtube video from C.J. Mahaney (click here to see it). This sermon addresses immodesty, a topic that I have taught on for a long time and very much supported. As I listened to this sermon I was struck by a concept time and time again: PRIDE.

Just the day before I was having a "I'm a girl and I cry sometimes..." moment. It had been a hard day for me emotionally, and I was just struggling with insecurity. I laid my head on my husbands chest, crying and trying my best to explain to him why I felt so bad, it was swimsuit season and I didn't look how I wanted to and due to many factors it is more difficult for me to be super fit/physically active. He listened so well, and encouraged me as best he could. I found myself saying, "I know this seems prideful, BUT...I just want others people to think that I, as your wife, am good looking. I want you to be proud to be with me..."

Anyone else ever think this way? Well, as I listened to CJ Mahaney talk about modesty being an attitude, I listened, checking my heart being careful not to think I had this modesty thing down. And then it hit me. As he asked a series of questions, I began to realize, I was striving to catch other people's eyes by my appearance. Subtly, I had believed the lies that my appearance was of higher value than my character.

Now, don't get me wrong, it is not a sin to look nice. But what I realized was that I was desiring other's attention for my own pride. I excused this away saying, "I am not trying to seduce anyone" "I just want to look nice". But what I didn't realize, what I failed to see, was the reason behind this desire. PRIDE.

It was my pride that fed my desire to be noticed for my outward appearance instead of my godly character. Some of you might say I am over-reacting, but I am really? Or maybe what has happened, is because of our culture we have easily pushed aside the truth and justified our desire to want everyone's attention, to be noticed for our cute clothes (even if they are modest), noticed for our hair or make-up, wanting to hear others tell us how beautiful or good looking we are.

I remember laying in bed about a year and a half ago, talking with my best friend Samantha. Since we shared a room, she always had the 'privilege' to process with me before going to sleep. During this time I had not yet starting dating my husband, we were just friends. I remember crying, telling her how much I wished I was thinner, and prettier, that I would be noticed for my good looks, because in every conversation with Phillip he rarely told me I was beautiful, but instead loved my godly character. And I was tired of hearing that, I didn't want to be someone's girlfriend because of my godliness, I wanted to be their prized possession, their "beauty". Looking back now, this seems almost comical. Considering this verse especially, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord is worthy of praise."

Maybe it is because we are constantly bombarded with ads that promote fighting aging, loosing weight, make up tips, plastic surgery, and 100 ways to win a man. But what would it look like, what would we feel like, if we just believed the truth? If we cultivated godly character instead of collections of make-up tips and fashion magazines? If we stopped trying to turn heads for our own pride and ego, and started bowing our heads and praying for our brothers and sisters in Christ?

What if we put aside our pride and picked up our cross instead- letting the God who created beauty, radiate through us as His Holy Spirit works in us?

~Set Apart for Him~

CaseyMay

A Vulnerable Moment

Hello readers,

I know I said I transferred blogs, and I have. But I still want to post here too. :)

We've been married two months now! Marriage is wonderful, and there has been a lot of learning and growing in the last 60 days.

I can't recall if I have mentioned this subject before on my blog, but I am just needing to share a little bit about what God is doing in my life, and in my heart.

Like many women, I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, (PCOS). Without going into too much detail I will explain what this means. Basically, my body doesn't produce enough of the female hormones to cause me to have a monthly cycle. This effects my ability to conceive.

Many of you may be asking, "Are you trying to get pregnant? You just got married!". I have heard this reply many times. And yes, we are trying, rather we are trusting God to give us a child in His timing.
As my husband and I have prayed and sought the Lord,  we have decided not to use fertility drugs to get pregnant.

I have always wanted to be a mother. Always. I know that is what I created to be. I have known for years that it would be very difficult to get pregnant and I didn't worry too much about it because I was single. But now that I am married, being pregnant is a possibility (though right now, a very unlikely one).

I can't adequately explain to you what this process is like. I can only equate it to a previous season of my life. When I was waiting for God to bring me my husband. I experienced pain watching others live out the desire of my heart, I knew God was going to give me this promise in His timing, but the waiting was painful and the questions in my heart often caused the tears to fall from my eyes. This is where trust is built. This is where God gets the glory in our darkest hours of the unknown. This is waiting.

This is my journey. This is where my heart tears, into wanting something so badly but surrendering to God's will. I am so happy for my many friends that are welcoming new little babies into their families, and I know that someday I will have one of my own, either naturally or through adoption. I know this waiting is worth it in the end, but my heart longs for the day that this promise is delivered.

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen... By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise; for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God. By faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since SHE CONSIDERED HIM FAITHFUL WHO HAD PROMISED." Hebrews 11:1,9-11

~Standing on His Promises~
CaseyMay

The Promise

Hello Readers! (if any of you are still there!)

Well, it is official, I am married! March 10, 2012 in my hometown, I married the love of my life. It was perfect, in everyway. I will be posting pictures soon! Please visit our family blog to keep up to date with married life!

www.forhisgloryandourgood.blogspot.com


Next post: A Call I Did Not Want....

NEW BLOG

Hello faithful followers!

I have some exciting news! In light of getting married in just 31 days! (WoooHooo!!!) my soon-to-be husband and I have started a new blog. My hope is that I can write in two blogs at once, but that may be difficult. So I would kindly ask that you follow our new blog:

www.forhisgloryandourgood.blogspot.com

Please, please, please follow it. I am so excited, and am hoping to put up quite a few entries between now and the wedding!

I love you all!

~Standing on His Promises~
CaseyMay

Weary, but not defeated

It has been a rough couple of weeks. I believe the Lord is refining me in a lot of difficult ways. This process has shown me so much of my sin, my selfishness, jealousy, impatience, judgement, wicked, deceitful motives. It has been quite the humbling experience.


In these past few days it has been exceedingly difficult emotionally. As a woman, these emotions can seem unbearable and overwhelming. We all have those times when the lies seem like the truth. It has been a battle of the mind this week.


Like a soldier in battle, I fought passionately and valiantly.
But I soon found myself in over my head.
My morale was low.
I was wounded.
And I had no more strength to fight.
I was running low on ammunition.
It appeared that I was going to succumb to defeat.


But God is ever-faithful to be our strength.
He has given me fellow soldiers of the faith to speak truth over me.
To strength my weary arms.
And the Holy Spirit to equip me with the power of Jesus Christ.


I am in a season with many unknowns.
Which means I have many opportunities to trust God.
And I often fail.
I could make many excuses for my feelings that don't align with the truth of God's word.
But those excuses don't change my situation.


So, what do we do? How do we overcome? How do I get through this season that seems so incredibly hard, and at some times very unfair?


An all too familiar passage comes to mind. Philippians 4:6-8 (emphasis mine)

⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 ⁸ Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

So, we are to pray about everything, especially the things that cause us anxiety. We are also to be thankful. (Why does it seem like I always forget that part?!) Have you noticed that when we pause to thank God for all He has given us that we have  a better attitude?
We also must think about good things! We can't keep ourselves in this vicious cycle of negativity! We must think about things that are true, right, pure, honorable, lovely, and praiseworthy. 


I believe this is key to overcoming and gaining victory in the battle of the mind through Jesus Christ. I will not pretend to be perfect, I am probably the worst at this, and I am still trying to apply this to my life.


~Set Apart for Him~
CaseyMay

Choosing Contentment

The last few months have been crazy busy. But so good.


I have noticed that often many women struggle with being content, and truly letting themselves trust God with their daily lives, and their future. I am not an exception to this, in fact I am probably the poster-child of such a woman.


Why is it so hard to trust God? It says in Genesis 3:16 it says:

I will greatly multiply 
Your pain ^[e]in childbirth, 
In pain you will ^(Q)bring forth children; 
Yet your desire will be for your husband, 
And ^(R)he will rule over you.”

 I have read many books that say this "desire for your husband" will be a desire to control and manipulate. At first I wasn't sure about that, but now I understand. Women like to be in control, I think it is so we can protect ourselves from the unknowns of life. I have been studying and meditating on contentment a lot over the last few weeks. I am finding that true contentment comes when you trust God for your today and your tomorrows. Just recently I looked back over the last few months and realized, with a heavy heart, that I have missed out on so many happy moments because I have been anxious or worried about the future. Growing up my mother always called me a "know-it-all" and "curious-George", I wanted to know everything-even then.


Sometimes I wonder why I didn't learn this before entering into my relationship with Phillip, but then I realize that this maybe the very sanctification God brings when you are in a relationship. (Ephesians 5) So how do I learn to be content?


I must not worry about tomorrow, but trust God to help me daily. (Matthew 6:34) Not compare my life with anyone else, or wish things were different than they are. (These principles taken from the book Calming the Anxious Heart).


This is not an easy lesson to apply, it is always a choice. And I know there is freedom in trusting God, and trusting His timing. I don't want to miss out of the joys of today because I am worried about the things of tomorrow. 


~Standing on His Promises~
CaseyMay

Looking back to help me look forward

I seem to find myself in a transition of a transition. (yes that is repetitive, and somewhat confusing). 


It is like I am walking down a road, and so far this road has had some twists and turns, and some rough terrain but the scenery and general direction has been the same. And now, as I continue walking I am seeing some very small changes that lead me to believe this road is transitioning. The trees are thinning out, the flowers along the road are different, and in the distance I think I can see a sharp turn in the road, but I do not know what is around the corner.


This can spark some fear, or apprehension for me. But before I let the fear of the unknown overtake me, I stop walking and look at the road I have behind me. Though I cannot see the road in its entirety, I can remember it well in my mind. I see the place I started, a barren dessert land, with an uncharted path in front of me. I can remember losing my way and straying from the path a few times, finding myself if some very scary situations, and calling for help and being rescued. I can remember the joy I had when seeing the first signs of life, flowers, animals, green lush grass. I remember other turns in the road that scared me, drop off edges with only a narrow path to walk. I was so afraid, but I knew that I had to move forward, and once I made it safely I saw the most beautiful site yet-a peaceful flower filled meadow. And  then there were those forks in the road, deciding which path to take. At times the choice was clear, and at other points I just had to trust my intuition. And all these things led me to the road I am on right now.


So as I approach this new part of the road, with this unknown corner and unknown conditions, instead of being fearful, I choose to be excited, for this is just another adventure, and around that corner could be the best part of this journey so far and if it is not, than I know that this road is leading me closer to the One that created me, and His plan is better than mine.

Sadly walking out of this season into another unknown. But the Lord is faithful, and my heart is thankful.

~Standing on His Promises~

CaseyMay

Surrender

What does it mean to surrender?

Dictionary. com defines the word surrender as "to yield to the possession or power of another....to give up, abandon, or relinquish...to yield or resign..."

Surrender is not a happy word. How often do we hear that we need to 'surrender to God'? Every time someone says that to me, a cringe a little. Why? Because I am a recovering control freak, and I am a prideful human being that doesn't like to be under someone's authority, even God's. How easy is it for us to yield our control to someone else? To give up control of our lives to someone else, in the small thing and the big things?

Imagine walking down the street and some random person approaching you and asking you if they could decide what clothes you wear or what you eat or how you handle your money or pick out your spouse. I bet that many of us would not surrender our lives over to a stranger, but what if it was someone you knew? Someone you trusted? What if they were the wisest, most responsible person you knew?

What if that person was all knowing, all powerful, unchanging God?

"Well, of course I would trust God" It is easy to say that, but let's take this a step further...If you are a follower of Christ, then your life is not your own. (1 Cor. 6:19-20) You are under the headship of Christ (1 Cor. 11:3). God has given us everything (Colossians 1:16-19) therefore nothing is truly ours, small or large. Friends, it is not easy to yield our lives to Christ, surrendering or relinquishing our control to God is not always pleasant. As a woman that struggles with remembering that God is the one in control, instead of  me, I often find that I take back control and have to let go once more, painfully.

Even though surrender is painful and somewhat scary, it is so necessary. God knows everything, He is perfect, He is all knowing, and His plans are always good. Like a parent who knows what their child needs, good food, rest, water, exercise, the child doesn't always like what is best for them.  God is our Father, and He knows what is best, and that is keeping Him as the center of our lives, and the one that is in control of out lives.

Surrender to God out of love for Him, and because He is worthy of it. Our lives are reflections of what God and He wants to use our lives for His glory.

~Standing on His Promises~

CaseyMay

Cheerio's, Pandora, and my thoughts after a very difficult evening

I admit it, I eat when I am emotional/stressed/unsettled, but at least this time it is just a bowl of Cheerio's--they are good for the heart right?


Well my friends, I find myself learning a lot today. The Lord is faithful to reveal the true condition of my heart, which today was full of ungratefulness, jealousy, and much more. As I sit here in my tiny bedroom, listening to various Christian stations on Pandora, and yes eating my Cheerio's, all I am left with is the assurance that God never changes.


It seems that this evening the enemy would love for me to give up, to let this worry, and fear overwhelm me. It is one thing for us to look back on our mistakes and learn from them, it is another thing all together to let those mistakes define us. It is easy to feel defeated or to let doubt drive our decisions. I know that today I decided that I wasn't the problem, everything else was, that if I could just change something in my life (church, school, jobs, etc) that THEN I would feel better, happier.


But we are not to run away from our problems dear friends, and we can't just run away, escape or drastically change our lives when things get hard. No, no. This is what I am learning, that today, right now, I have a choice. I can keep 'coping' by trying to find a magic combination of right steps to take so that I am happy OR I can trust that God is going to be faithful to do what He promised, and TRUST that His plans for me are good and for the glory of His name He is going to work everything out. 

• Trust that God is going to be faithful to provide ALL of our needs
• Trust that God is going to give you what He has promised you
• Trust that this hard time is going to grow you closer to God and that He is going to work it out for good!
• Trust that His Word is TRUE, even when it doesn't feel like it
• Trust that God is the same yesterday, today and forever, He never changes, He was faithful before and He will be faithful again
• TRUST that God hears my prayers, and will answer me

Easier said than done right?


But then what in the world do we do about these darn emotions we have? Great question, I love the Psalms, because they are full of emotion. So let me share with you one of my favorites. Remember that our enemy (Satan) wants us to be discouraged and depressed so that we don't share God's love with others. Remember my friends, Satan has been defeated by Jesus Christ's death and Resurrection! So take heart as you read this:

Psalm 70

 ^1 (A)O God, hasten to deliver me;
O LORD, hasten to my help!
^2 (B)Let those be ashamed and humiliated
Who seek my ^[a]life;
Let those be turned back and dishonored
Who delight ^[b]in my hurt.
^3 (C)Let those be ^[c]turned back because of their shame
Who say, “Aha, aha!”
 ⁴ Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
And let those who love Your salvation say continually,
“Let God be magnified.”
⁵ But ^(D)I am afflicted and needy;
^(E)Hasten to me, O God!
You are my help and my deliverer;
O LORD, do not delay.





~Standing on His Promises~
CaseyMay


....Next Post: Surrender...

Reflections, a year later...

A year ago, I was just moving back to Idaho. I was in a transition, a season of isolation and refinement according to my post a year ago. So much has changed, and yet much has stayed the same. Funny how that works?


Now I find myself in a very familiar season, one of loneliness, more refinement and tons of testing of my faith. And yet, these situations are so different from a year ago. I am more mature now, and have learned so much since being here. God has given me some of the deepest desires of my heart, the ones I was just hoping for on a whim last year-they have now come to fruition.

I have been dating Phillip for about 4 1/2 months now, which brings me so much joy and also so much refinement-I am realizing more and more how sinful I really am, and how much I need Jesus. I have been to Africa and worked in an orphanage, caring for 2 months old that weigh less than 5 lbs. I am now in a different transition of sorts, my best friend is moving 10hrs away to do a year long internship and I could be in my last year of non-married life. Crazy. I learning that what my life really comes down to in Christ, so no matter what situation I face I just have to trust Him and if I put my hope in Him then my heart will find hope and take courage despite trials.

~Set Apart for Him~
CaseyMay

I think this has been my longest absense...

I am so sorry my blogging friends! It seems that time has gotten away from me,  so many times I have wanted to post on here and every time it just seemed too overwhelming. So much has happened in the last few months,  I went to Ethiopia-which was so life-changing, I am determined to go back and bring home some children after I get married. The Lord taught me so much about how He cares for the orphan and the widow, and reminded me that He knows the hurt and the pain, and He is moving in Africa friends, in mighty ways!

I got back to the US and went to Texas for a week to visit my boyfriends family, and upon finally returning to Idaho, I started 3 part time nanny jobs. Along with a summer packed with ministry activities, work, and a small social life, things started to get really crazy and thus no blogging, which I have greatly missed.  I love writing to you all, even if no one reads it, I enjoy it so much, so now that things are hopefully slowing down a bit, I will be on here more. *fingers crossed*

~Standing on His Promises~
CaseyMay

In Awe

Well friends, the count down has begun! 4 days until I leave for Africa. I can't believe it. God had proved faithful time and time again to provide for me! I now only need $174.16, which is great and I know that God will provide for that. It is amazing how He works in ways we would never expect.

As I prepare for the trip, I find myself excited, anxious and a little scared. I can not believe that after 7 years I am finally going to Africa to work with orphans for 10 days. Psalm 37 promises that God will give us the desires of our hearts if we cultivate faithfulness, and commit our way to Him. And this has been so true in my life. I can't tell you how many times I have read that psalm over the last couple of years, it has sustained me in the darkest times.

I would have never imagined that God would bless me like He has the last few months. It is all for His glory, and He is refining me into His image. I have been learning to trust in the Lord, in His plan, provision and timing. I have been blessed beyond belief, as people pray for me, and encourage me in this adventure.

As I pray and prepare for this trip, I believe that God is preparing me to love these people as He does, and to experience the heartbreak that He has for them. I believe the hardest part of this trip for me will be to love and serve these people and then have to leave them. To experience the poverty, the sickness, the loneliness, and not be able to take them home with me. Oh I can only imagine the heartbreak I will feel, when I hold the orphan-sick with HIV, dirty and alone without parents to love and care for them. To be a mother for a moment to these children, to sing them sweet songs, to tell them about a Father that loves them and about a Son who died for them. 

Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Fill me with Your love so that I may love others as You do. 

~Set Apart~

CaseyMay

When Fear and Faith Collide

You are standing in line at Six Flags, you have waited hours for this one roller coaster. Weeks of planning and saving, and the day has finally arrived! The anticipation and excitement has built up over time and as you inch closer to the ride, you feel like you could explode with joy. You are now standing at the gate, you are next in line. As you watch the roller coaster fly by, twisting, turning, climbing and dropping and as you hear the excited and terrified screams come from the riders it hits you: FEAR. I am about to do this, what if something goes wrong? You feel that familiar turning in your stomach. Now you find yourself mindlessly walking through the gate and strapping yourself into a potential death machine: Am I going to regret this? Suddenly the roller coaster jerks forward and it's too late to change your mind. You are in for the thrill ride of your life, you can either enjoy the moment despite the fear or you can let your fear consume your focus.

This is the story of my life.

As I enter into this new season of being in a relationship, I am obviously excited. Yet, just like the roller coaster story above, there are moments of fear and doubt. I have waited years for this season, yet as I find myself strapping in and committing, fear creeps in. I have a choice, I can let these fears overwhelm me and cause me to panic and run away screaming or I take a step in faith, despite the fear, and trust that God has good plans for me (Jer. 29:11). This season is full of making wonderful memories and very enjoyable dates yet it is also refining. When you choose to open yourself up, and be vulnerable you risk being hurt. The lies and insecurities that once felt far away are now so close, and at times it seems like I could very easily drown in the sea of insecurity and lies.

But as I take a deep breath, and turn my eyes to Christ, it is then that I remember the truth. When I look at Christ I find clarity and perspective. He is my hope, my rock, my savior, my redeemer, the lover of my soul, and my God. He defines me.



So friends, no matter where you find yourself in this roller coaster life, remember that Christ is your anchor and that His Word is always true. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you, resist the devil and he will flee from you." James 5:1


~Set Apart~
CaseyMay

A New Adventure-God's Faithfulness

The journey began about a year ago. I was in Texas, at Teen Mania Ministries serving as a second year intern. I began to seek God and ask Him about His will for my future regarding dating, "God will it ever happen? Will have to wait 5 more years? What's the deal?" and all the other questions that young woman ask God about their future. As I continued to pray in the days and weeks to come I felt God begin to challenge me with a few things. 

• "Casey, what if the man I have for you, isn't at all what you have in mind?"

That one stopped me in my tracks, literally (I was walking and praying). So, I surrendered my list of ideal or perfect qualities I wanted in a man. 

• "Casey, I want you to prepare yourself to be in a relationship a year from now."

Umm...excuse me God, do you not realize that I moving back to the Northwest? There are no single, godly men there! But ok, I guess I will just keep reading books, and seeking Your face, but I really don't think this is going to happen.


Fast forward.....
January 2011. 


I have lived in here for 6 months and life is great, I remembered God's promise about the relationship, and seeing as there were no prospects thought, "Well maybe I will meet a missionary on my trip to Ethiopia in May, maybe that was God's plan...I could do that."


My roommate excitedly told me one night, "I have met the perfect man for you!" I literally laughed in her face. She said he was totally my type, from Texas and was here as a college semester missionary. I was not interested. But told her I would meet him. His name is Phillip Grant.


I met him and he seemed pretty legit, he loved the Lord, we had similar interests, and we got along, oh and he was pretty cute. As time went on, I found myself serving with his ministry and hanging out with him and other people. Within a few weeks, I had to admit, I was attracted to him. I started praying, everyday about these feelings, I didn't want them and I was pretty sure he wasn't interested. The feelings didn't go away and the more we hung out the more I wondered..."God, was this the answer to your promise?"


Over the next two months, we had a few conversations about our feelings for each other. We both wanted to pray about the future and see what God's will is. And for the next month and a half I wrestled with God, and waited for an answer. The more I got to know Phillip, the more attracted to him I was. I prayed that God would close the door if that was His will, and I prayed that God would make it painfully clear if moving forward was wrong. It was the hardest season yet, neither of us were sure. I had peace about moving forward, but knew that Phillip had some things he wanted to work out with the Lord, so I had to wait.


One week ago, I had made up my mind to take a step back from our relationship because I was starting to be really emotionally invested, that same night Phillip asked me to join him on a walk. And after a few agonizing minutes of talking he asked the question I had been hoping to hear, "Casey, I am asking if I can pursue you?" 


My reaction was quite dramatic, I was ready to walk away and now this amazing man is FINALLY asking to pursue me! I threw my bag down on the ground, and shouted, "Are you kidding me God?!" and laughed only to realize poor Phillip had no idea what was going on! So I explained and then excitedly got up and hugged him. We then took a two hour walk around the park, he told me all the reasons he wanted to pursue me--and what woman doesn't want to hear that?! And we talked about boundaries, ministry and what we wanted the relationship to look like, and we prayed together.


As we began to go out on dates, and pursue the Lord, we had a lot of peace about the relationship and where God has us on this adventure. It is now public knowledge, which I am very excited to share. :) It's been a week, and I still have all those giddy feelings, and yes I would even admit that I glow a little.


In all my waiting and all my dreaming I would have never thought of this, and it was harder but so much better than I ever could have imagined. And God honored His promise of a relationship and of a season of getting the desires of my hearts...a wonderful Godly boyfriend and a mission trip to Africa.


God is faithful.

~Set Apart~
CaseyMay

On Christ the solid rock I stand...

"On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand"

Have you ever had God shake up your life? Things that you were confident in suddenly fail you? Your perfect plan goes completely wrong? 

As many of you know, I like to be in control, I like to plan and be prepared. I have been reminded a lot recently that I can not be in control and the God is the only One who has a perfect plan. Often, I can get so caught up in my plan, and my ideas of how things should be that when God changes my plan, I get angry! Can anyone relate?


I realize now, more than ever, that my desire to be in control of situations stems from a desire to protect myself. If I am in control than I do not get hurt by 'surprises'. This seems perfectly logical in the moment, but I forgot one small detail...I am human which means I am sinful and imperfect. Which also means, I can hurt not only myself, but others.


Lately I have come up against a few challenges that cause me to wonder what in the world God is doing in my life. God has promised me that this season would be one of adventure and that I would see some of the deepest desires of my heart come to fruition. Notice that God didn't tell me which desires? Funny how He does that. He gives me enough of a promise to remain hopeful and yet not enough specifics for me to make it happen without Him.


My desire for control is a lack of trust. I doubt that God will come through and I fear being hurt or disappointed so I try to find security in 'knowing' something, anything. The more I try and control, the more my life seems to spin out of control. I find myself worried, depressed and anxious. In those times that my life spirals downward I am reminded, Christ is constant. He is solid ground. If I can just let go of control, if I can keep my eyes on Christ instead of on the wind and the waves of the storm of life, I can find peace. 


I don't have all the answers, in fact I have even more questions. But one things remains, Jesus. When I seek Him, I will find Him. And I may not get the answers I so deeply desire, but I can find rest and shelter in the shadow of His wings. 


Lord,
Forgive me for desiring blessings and answers instead of desiring You.
Father, You have perfect plans for me. 
I trust in You alone, You are the solid rock that I stand on.
Capture my heart once more Jesus, and may my eyes be fixed on You.
Hold my hand through these valleys of darkness
and may I find the treasures You have hidden there for me.
Draw me closer God and use my weakness for Your glory.


~Set Apart for Him~
CaseyMay

God is faithful

This past few weeks have been crazy. My college group and I went up to Cheney, WA to serve over our Spring Break, we had a great time. As many of you know I have been rasing funds for my mission trip to Ethiopia, and I had a deadline the week we were in Cheney. I had only a matter of days to raise the money needed for my trip. I knew that God wanted me to go on this trip, but I had no more resources for the money. It became hard not to think about the upcoming deadline, and wonder "God are you going to come through like you promised?" 


Saturday night, our last night in Cheney was the most difficult by far. We spent the whole day scraping off tape and wallpaper glue and didn't get it finished. Emotionally I was on my last straw, the upcoming deadline hung over my head like a huge weight ready to crush me and my dreams at any moment. As I prayed that night, I was frustrated. "God, I thought you promised this would be a season of getting the deepest desires of my heart? How is this going to work out? I can't ask anyone else for money, I need $535 and I can't get it. Lord, do you hear me? I am tired. I can't do this. So You are just going to have to make it happen."


The next morning, I found an envelope with my name on, sitting on my bag. It was from our host church, and with trembling hands I opened it, $700. More than enough to meet my deadline. And a reminder to my soul...


GOD IS FAITHFUL. 


I told God if I could just make it through this deadline I knew He'd provide the rest! And I am standing in faith that He will. Only $1000 to go!


~Set Apart~
CaseyMay

The beauty and pain of waiting

God is faithful to deliver on His promises.

In His timing.

I am not confident that others would describe me as a patient woman, and for good reason. I don't like to wait, and I can be very impatient-especially when it is something I want so badly. 

I know I am not the only one that has waited for something, or is waiting for something. All throughout scripture God makes His people wait. Abraham and Sarah waited until they were 90+ yrs old before God gave them a son! That is LONG time. The Israelites were in the desert for 40 years. Abraham didn't even get out of the desert. The word patience can also mean "long suffering"--no wonder I don't like to wait.

Many of us have heard it said, "Good things come to those who wait", and I know that phrase can be true and often times is true. Waiting is worth it. God's timing is perfect. Yet it is SO hard!

This season of life is full of waiting. Full of unanswered questions. Painful surrender of life long dreams, in exchange for God's will to be done  in my life. It can be easy to lose hope, to want to give up. I occasionally find myself thinking, "Is this even worth it anymore? God do you hear my cries? Do you hear my petitions? I want an answer! I am tired of asking God, please just tell me something, anything?!" Dear friends, this is when the pain of "picking up our cross" becomes uncomfortable, painful and exhausting but Christ gives us the strength to carry on and we are reminded in His Word that our hope will be restored:

³More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

Suffering produces endurance.
Endurance produces character.
Character produces hope.
Hope does not put us to shame.


"Hope does not put us to shame" Do you ever find yourself telling yourself, "Don't get your hopes up" because you don't want to be disappointed or to be humbled if you don't get the outcome you were anticipating? Hope. Not the kind of hope that says, "I hope it doesn't rain today" or "I hope I win the lottery". But the hope that brings life, the hope that delights in the same things God does. "I hope I get to go on the mission field and serve people with the love of Christ", you might not set foot on foreign soil for many many years, but your hope is not limited by your location, you have a mission field in front of you everyday. "I hope that I can be a wife someday" that hope is not contingent on your beauty, charm, skills and abilities because you are already called the Bride of Christ. 


Is it not bad to want and desire something deeply. In fact the Lord says in Psalm 37:3-7a (emphasis mine)

³Trust in the LORD and do good;

         Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. 

    ⁴Delight yourself in the LORD;

         And He will give you the desires of your heart. 

    ⁵Commit your way to the LORD,

         Trust also in Him, and He will do it. 

    ⁶He will bring forth your righteousness as the light

         And your judgment as the noonday. 

    ⁷Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;

When my hope is in the Lord, my desires are conformed to His desires. That is a beautiful process, being conformed into the likeness of God, yet it is not without pain. "Suffering produces endurance" in the pain we are made stronger through Christ in us. The hope we cling to in this suffering, in this waiting, in this desert, is not that the desires of our heart would be given to us, but rather that the desires of our hearts are going to be aligned with God's heart for us, and His ways are always good. Therefore, let us rejoice dear friends in the trials so that God may be praised and glorified, and through our weakness He may shine through.

~Set Apart~
CaseyMay

Weakness

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Weakness. It is almost natural for us to turn away from that word as it applies to our lives. If someone were to ask me, "Casey, what would you say your top 3 weaknesses are?" I would probably be a little uncomfortable answering that question. I don't like to expose my weakness! I would much rather cover up my weakness and make it look pretty so that no one knows it is a weakness. For example, many of us over compensate for our weaknesses. We try to excel in another area of life in order to hide our weakness.


I don't think any of us would like to be described as weak, right? I also don't think that many of us enjoy exposing our biggest flaws, or weaknesses. Pride. I am a prideful person, that is one of my weaknesses. I don't like to be taken care of, I don't like having to rely on others, I don't like admitting that I can't do something, and I especially dislike being vulnerable.


I am realizing how much  this can hinder me, not only in my relationships but also in my relationship with Christ. When I don't want to expose my weakness, I am not living in the light and I am not allowing myself to experience the Gospel. If you or I could save ourselves, be perfect, or work for our salvation, we wouldn't need Jesus Christ. 


Pride can start a dangerous cycle. It starts small, not admitting when I am wrong, not asking for help, not sharing my struggles with my community, etc. As I continue to hide or cover up those areas of weakness, my relationship with Christ is hindered because I am now working to be 'good enough' or to 'fix' myself or a situation, I am not relying on Christ. Soon I am not only broken, but extremely exhausted trying to save myself and trying to pretend that I am strong and I am fooling no one. And then I am reminded:

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Grace. My inadequacy, my weakness, my brokenness allows Christ to shine through me. Have you heard it said, "Broken is beautiful"? It's true. I can not live my life in fear of being vulnerable or of needing others. God has given us the Body of Christ because He created us to need people and most importantly to need Him!


So I will boast in these weaknesses my dear friends, for when I am weak, He is strong. I struggle with doubt, I am impatient, I struggle managing my finances, I am prideful, and as much as I try to hide it, I do need the Body of Christ and I most definitely need Jesus. So let down those walls friends, risk the pain of being vulnerable, and allow Christ to say to you:

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

As for me, I am going to go find a friend and get a great big hug, because I could really use one, and maybe you do too. Today let us remind each other that there is grace is enough for everyone, and there is always room at the foot of the Cross. He is enough.


~Set Apart~
CaseyMay

Peace

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension , will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:6-7

 This week, has been a roller-coaster of emotions, filled with tons of questions without answers. The enemy would love to get me to despair, worry and stress out over things I cannot control and cannot fix. Thankfully, God is faithful to remind my heart of the truth. When I pray and seek God with a thankful heart, He gives me peace, guards my heart and my mind! His Word is true, imagine that!


Each day this week, something has come up that has the potential to ruin or severely hinder my attitude. And each day God is faithful to remind my heart that it is in Him that I have hope and joy. And each day I have been able to love those around me, and be loved by the Lord. He truly fills us up to be poured out.


As I sit here, and reflect on all the ways God has refreshed me and sustained me just this week I am moved to tears. As you all know from my previous post, this season of life is difficult. But when everything else fades the Lord remains. He is faithful to my heart. (which is a great song, click here to listen)


I am so blessed by the Body of Christ that is encouraging me, speaking truth to me, loving me and praying for me. I may be unsure of a lot of things in my life right now, but you know what, that doesn't change God's promises, they are true regardless of my circumstances. The name of my blog, The Beautiful Promises of a Set Apart Life, is fitting isn't it? I always need reminded that God's promises are true and He is faithful to fulfill them.


Take heart my friends, Jesus has overcome the world. He is faithful. He will never let you go. He loves you with an everlasting love. He is jealous for you. He holds all things in His hands. He works all things together for good.


~Set Apart~
CaseyMay